Bro Learns The Painful Way What Happens When You Beat The Meat And DON’T Clean Yourself Up Afterwards

by 2 years ago
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Not that you needed a lesson in cleaning up jizz off your boxers in the first place, right? You’re an adult. Well okay – you’re at least almost an adult. You know that sticky jizz boxers are both disgusting and uncomfortable to wear, and that’s why you always clean up after you’re done jerking off, right?

Redditor Need4Sleep2016 apparently does not care that jizz boxers are gross, but had to find out the hard way that you need to clean yourself up anyway:

So a few hours ago I got home from school and my parents weren’t home, so like any normal person I jerked off furiously to some sweet ass Hentai. Now it took me half an hour to cum so it was a pretty big load.

Now as everyone knows cumming makes you sleepy, ’tiss but a fact of life, but because I’m a fucking animal, like, full on neanderthal, I didn’t clean up, so I was just lying in a pool of my own semen, contained within my boxers. So I fall asleep and as someone who usually takes about an hour to fall asleep, I was not gonna pass up this chance for nap time.

So after an hour or two of sleeping I was awoken by my parents coming in, I go down stairs, have dinner, then after drinking two glasses of orange juice I needed to go to the toilet. So I excuse myself (like the fucking good son I am), and go to the bathroom I pull down my pants, then, oh god! Wtf! A pain surges through my penis like a tidal wave of emasculation, I grab my dick and start to sob softly as I inspect the damage (this is probably a good time to mention I’m circumcised), i look down and see a massive piece of skin gone off the tip of my dick, like oh my god I was staring at a peeled fucking orange at this point. It wasn’t bleeding and hurt surprisingly less then you would think (but it still hurt like taking a god damn squirming midget in your asshole). At this point I pulled up my crispy, cum laden boxers and to my horror saw my dick skin across it. Now I’m awkward talking to my parents about anything, so this was a no no, a big, skinless no no, I figured it would just grow back, so I pulled up my trousers and went back and had a very delicious but very, very strange dinner.

Now all I can do is wait and see what happens, as of writing this its already starting to look better. Anyway, take my ejaculatory escapades as a cautionary tale, clean yourself up after wanking, like a fucking civilized person.

[Via Reddit]


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