Bro of the Week is Full of Fish, Insults, and Starlets

By 05.18.12

Bryce Harper

Not only did the Washington Nationals phenom hit his first and second career home runs, he showed up at a UFC fight all showered and cleaned up, rubbing elbows – and probably more – with ring girl Brittney Palmer. The man can do it all.

Eric Kelly

Once a promising boxer, this guy now makes his living training Wall Street Bros to spar, and is hilariously brutal while doing so. His verbal jabs are more powerful than their physical ones.

Arresting citizen

You don’t speed on this guy, even if you’re a cop. This real-life Barney Fife chased down a police officer that blew past him at 90 miles per hour and gets him to pull over – all the while showing his extremely limited vocabulary.

Fat Bill

He’s 350 pounds and has an outstanding tab at a fish restaurant, but don’t think for one second that allows the establishment to cut him off after 12 plates of food during an all-you-can-eat buffet. Bill is a champion of civil rights for the disenfranchised and unintelligent. He’s what makes America great.

Kim Kardashian IMDB writer

This Bro (or Babe) had the cajones to give a fair and accurate breakdown of the reality star’s “talents.”

“Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium.,” he wrote. “While some cultural critics call her the prime avatar of the “famous for being famous” faux celebrity crowd, she along with Paris Hilton is a new breed of cat whose celebrity comes from the release of a sex tape and the canny exploitation of the resulting publicity. Like her good friend Miss Hilton (their relationship predates Kim’s “celebrity”, Kardashian is possessed of photogenic good looks but is short of any other discernible talents outside of the bedroom. Both expanded their celebrity by becoming reality TV “stars”.


You tell us. Who is the Bro of the Week?

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