Bro of the Week is Full of Unibrows and The Best Comedian Alive

By 06.29.12

Oh, man. Reggie just got his face eaten off by someone not on bath salts! Someone has to take the reigns here, so I guess it'll be me. Let's just remember to dedicate this Bro of the Week to his memory. 

As always, please tell us who you think should be Bro of the Week in the comments section.

Anthony Davis

The man more commonly know as the 'Brow had a great week. First, Davis took the unprecendented move of trademarking two phrases related to his prominent unibrow: “Fear the Brow” and “Raise the Brow,” explaining his decision to CNBC by saying, “I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it…. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”

Then, on Thursday, Davis was selected first in the NBA Draft. He'll head to New Orleans with the No. 10 pick, Austin Rivers, as they attempt to revitalize their new franchise. 

As for what he says his first major purchase will be with his new NBA paycheck? A white Bentley.

Honorary NBA Draft BOTW nominees: Andy Katz, for saying what everyone has been thinking since Steve Levy's incident, and Bernard James, for spending six years in the Air Force before being drafted last night by the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Craigslist Golfer

A frustrated golfer from North Carolina put up an ad on Craigslist this week in attempt to sell a set of clubs that has caused him much grief and misery. In the process, Marc Lewis, or the Craigslist Golfer, revealed himself to be no less than a modern-day F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Some sample text from his ad (which you should read in full): 

I'm selling my golf clubs and with a golden satchel of memories. These clubs have been with me since high school, forty pounds ago, when the world was my oyster, long before that oyster was left out in the sun to sour, uneaten and spoiled. These clubs were with me the first time I sank a golf cart in a water hazard, the first time I polished off a fifth of bourbon during a single round, and the first and only time I ever killed a bird.

These clubs are also stupid. Anything that has heard words shouted with such repetition in its presence would have surely learned to cuss by now. These clubs cannot cuss. They also can not learn to hit the ball straight. They are terrible at remembering the few good strokes they have created and fight constantly to stand out from the herd, to stray, like some weirdo in Jnco jeans in the corner of the cafeteria eating his spaghetti by hand or some damn Hippie lying in a field going nowhere with his life. These clubs will never sustain a job because they cannot learn. There is a reason they are for sale and all sales are final.

Bill Hancock

Hancock is the executive director of the BCS and is a man who helped make the steps to finally give us a four-team college football playoff. Finally.

Sure, it's not perfect—four teams is an awfully small sample size, so there will undoubtedly be some corrupt polling involved (as usual) for top tier teams to get in the playoff, plus the shebang doesn't start 'till 2014, giving us an unconscionable amount of time to wait for this—but, still, it's a start. And for that, we thank you.

Louis C.K.

It's no big secret that we really like Louis C.K. around here, but, to be fair, the man did have quite the week. He broke the mold on live touring by selilng tickets directly to fans through his website for the upcoming tour, allowing buyers to bypass Ticketmaster service fees and snatch up any seat, in any city, for a $45 flat fee. (As someone who built a ticket for the October 26 New York show, I can tell you it was the greatest ticket-buying experience I've ever been through. Seriously.)

Louis also made the talk show circuit, delivering brilliant monologues in interviews with Jay Leno (above) and Jimmy Kimmel. And, to top it off, he debuted the third season of his comedy “Louie” on Thursday, with an episode that was as darkly funny as it was brilliant.

These Guys

They're two brothers who were just “driving around in circles, listening to music”—Led Zeppelin, in fact!—and managed to save a family from dying in a house fire while doing so. All while possibly under the influence.

You don't see that every day.

Those are the five nominees. Who ya got? Let us know in the comments.

TAGSAnthony Davisbro of the weekCraigslistLouis CK

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