Bro Selling His Snow Blower Writes Sales Pitch So Incredibly Ridiculous That It Just Might Work
According to the ad on this site I've never heard of before:
Toro 2 Stage snowblower. Model 3521 with 21″cut. Runs good. Eats snow and craps thunder. New Carb. Electric Start. Farmers Almanac predicts 100 feet of snow this winter. $200 or trade. Let me know what you have. Also comes with a red turtle sandbox complete with 5000 lbs. of sand (you haul), 3 cans of spam, minesweeper for WIN95, broken TV, baby kittens, 1971 Barbarella T-Shirt (Size small womens), Chia Pet without any seeds, 672 return address labels (these have my name and address on them but you can cross it out and put yours on them), hair dryer (50 Hz so perfect for the family trip to Europe), half a bag of Peeps, 2 cans of Mug rootbeer, and some potting soil.
This snowblower has proved to be a tough sell, so for this week only I am including my 20″ box fan. The fan has a bad motor but if you would replace the motor it should work fine. The fan is about 5 years old. It only spins clockwise so it can only blow air out of your house not in. Also the fan has a unicorn, 1993 Greenpeace, and a Kansas City Royals sticker on it. These could probably be removed with a little elbow grease if you are a Republican or a Yankees fan. Need to get rid of the fan because my cat likes to play on it.
I have been asked by several for photos of the unicorn sticker. Unfortunately due to a mishap while playing a match of marco polo my camera no longer works. However I have drawn a picture of what the sticker looks like and added it to the ad.
This was the f*cking drawing he included.
“Circular feet…the sign of a true artist.” -Rembrandt