Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say. I certainly don’t say that and if I ever seriously use the word ‘hath’ in a sentence, I give you permission to punch me in the face and bang my mother.
But fo real, when fucked over, women are artists when it comes to revenge. Us bros can bang our chests, yell and scream and put their Dowton Abbey DVDs in the microwave, but eventually the screaming will subside and in this day and age, she can stream Downton Abbey off the world wide webs anyway, so in the end we’re left with a scratchy voice and polycarbonate in our microwaves. Which will surely give us cancer and kill us.
But chicks, man. Chicks are cerebral creatures. They know exactly how to hurt you without you even realizing they’re doing it. Just ask Ben Hurley.
Here’s Ben:
Looks like your standard everyday bro who enjoys his steak medium rare and the occasional binge drink.
But our friend Ben got burned so hard by his ex who ‘hacked’ his Tinder profile after finding out he had been on the dating app while the two were together.
He first became suspicious when his matches significantly decreased, so he did what any right-minded man would do: begin the profile overhaul process.
That’s when he discovered his ex’s handy work, which was as effective at deterring females as writing “HIV POSITIVE” in his bio.
Ben spoke with LADbible after the incident:
“I think it’s been there since early January but I’ve only just noticed.
“I’ve not had many matches the past two months but now it makes sense.
“I laughed my head off when I read it to be honest. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner.”
The lesson to be learned here is that if you’re that desperate for some strange, have the stones to break up with your girlfriend. Cheating is for weak-willed men who don’t have the testicular fortitude to make a difficult decision.
P.S. Sweetie, all the signs were there. The iPhone face down technique is a Cheating 101. Do you ever see anyone put their iPads face down? That’s what I thought. The dude’s probably getting a beamer under the table in that anniversary dinner pic. Shameless.
[h/t LADbible]