Chris Christie Vows To Enforce Nationwide Marijuana Ban If Elected, Will Not Get Elected

Once the darling of the GOP, the candidate most perfectly suited to walk the fine line between appeasing liberals while not alienating large swaths of conservatives, Chris Christie finds himself on the outskirts of the 2016 primary race.

It began when he had the audacity to accept a visit from Barack Obama after Hurricane Sandy devastated New Jersey, a move that — some Republican strategists believe — cemented 2012 for Obama by making him the healing face of a national tragedy.

(If you want to know how bullshit America’s politics are, know that many Republicans wanted the New Jersey governor to forgo the welfare and safety of his citizens on the off chance it might help them reclaim the White House).

(This is not to bash Republicans. Democrats in a similar position would have said the same).

Even if Christie could have recovered from GASP! shaking hands with a Democrat and supporting people who lost their homes, his time as the presumptive nominee came to an end with his involvement in shutting down lanes on the George Washington Bridge in a vindictive fashion.

But he still wants to be president! To do that, he needs to win the Republican primary. When you are on the outs, and need to jump back in, what do you do? You pander to your base.

Hence this absurd statement on marijuana, which, while it might endear him to old fucks who vote in the Iowa primary and are scared of the devil’s weed, will not help him with the majority of the American electorate.

When asked …  if he would enforce federal drug laws in those states that have legalized and regulated cannabis, Christie responded unequivocally.

“Absolutely,” Christie said. “I will crack down and not permit it.”

Citing an “enormous addiction problem” in the U.S., Christie, who has not yet announced a presidential run but has launched a political action committee, said that a very clear message needs to be sent “from the White House on down through federal law enforcement.”

Yes, the enormous addiction problem. With pot. It’s fear-mongering, but never underestimate the possibility it may work.

However, if unlike Chris Christie, you like to smoke weed, enter our free Firefly vaporizer giveaway to win one of your own.