Is your marriage on the decline? Can’t seem to get your wife to want to fuck you willingly? Did you just do the math and realize that it’s been a solid month since you’ve had anyone besides Jill stroked you off? Well fear not, for a column on the website BiblicalGenderRoles.com last week has the answer that you’ve all been waiting for:
Fuck her anyway, but don’t look at her face.
I am hoping that everyone reading this is smart enough to realize what a horrible suggestion that is. Even illegal, possibly. According to Raw Story,
… Solomon [author] noted that coercing wives into sex did not always result in an enjoyable experience for the husband.
“You also need to realize that whether your wife knows it or not she needs to have sex too,” he opined. “If you don’t have sex with your wife at regular intervals, even sometimes when she is not in the mood but consents anyway, you will open yourself to temptation.”
“Focus your eyes on her body, not her face. Focus on the visual pleasure you receive from looking at her body and physical pleasure you receive from being inside your wife,” Solomon recommended. “You want to connect with her physically AND emotionally during sex. But your wife is the one refusing to connect with you emotionally, so you have to concentrate 100% on the physical side.”
Comparing women who don’t want to have sex with their husbands to Medusa, Solomon goes on to say that if looking at your wife’s Medusa-like face kills your boner, it’s best to just not do that. Look somewhere else. Maybe focus on other less horrible places, like the framed photos of your children sitting on the nightstand or leave CNN playing on the bedroom television and bang along to reports of whatever Donald Trump’s been up to lately. Definitely some hot imagery right there.
Ideally you would just leave your wife the fuck alone if she didn’t want to have sex with you, and ideally if she forced it on you she’d chop your balls off with a chainsaw.
But this is not an ideal world we live in, hence why fuckheads like Solomon exist. With any luck religion will just straight-up die out within the next hundred years or so and people can just be up-front about being demented bigots rather than hiding behind the ruse of a church to justify their actions.
[H/T Raw Story]