Colombia Just Set A Record For The Most Cocaine Ever Seized, Which Is Impressive Because, You Know, It’s Colombia

By 05.16.16
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Colombia is known for pretty much cocaine. I mean, sure it’s got some cities and I guess scenic vistas, but let’s be real. The only reason you know Colombia is cocaine.

Which is why, when I read that they’d just set a record for the most cocaine ever seized by authorities in one bust, I thought I was going to be astounded. ASTOUNDED.

Prepare to be disappointed.

They only nabbed eight tons. Here’s the president, Juan Manuel Santos, on the bust.

It reads: “Congratulations @PoliciaColombia: operating in Turbo seized the largest number of drug in history. Blow to criminals.”

Wow. The most they’ve ever found is eight tons? Of all the fucking tons of cocaine that have been moved out of the country, the best they could ever do in one haul is eight tons?

I’m not saying the Colombian police suck at their job, but, come on.

The drugs they nabbed did have a street value of $250 million.

Police said that the drugs belonged to one Colombia’s most notorious criminals: Roberto Vargas Gutierrez, alias Gavilan (meaning “hawk” in English), the clan’s number two man.

Three suspects were arrested and another three escaped, the statement read.

The raid is part of an intense crackdown by the Santos government, which claims to have confiscated nearly 90 tons of cocaine in 2016.

That sucks.

[Via Yahoo]


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