These 7 Companies Are Most Likely To Be The First To Make Porn A 3-D Experience

by 3 years ago
tasha-reign-new

Tasha Reign


We invented the camera so we could take pictures of nekkid ladies. We invented the Internet so we could look at camgirls. And now we’re re-inventing the 3-dimensional experience so we can bone everything our repugnant imaginations can concoct.

Rule 34 is the idea that where there is anything there is porn of it. Where there is tech, someone will find a way to use it to service their dick. That should be Rule 35. And be assured, tech companies are steady making your Rule 35 the closest thing to a reality as possible.

Rockstar

Rockstar Games has carved out a unique niche for itself breaking ground in several areas previously thought impossible. No, not creating the first mainstream sandbox game with GTA III or having the first game to make a billion dollars in 24 hours in GTA V. They made the first three dimensional game you could fuck in. Hookers litter the landscape in most of Rockstar’s games and, provided your car is nice enough, you can pay them for their services.

But then, in the latest upgraded release of GTA V for PS4 and XBox One they released the opportunity to release with a prostitute of choice in first person mode. In a sense, you can now make your own amateur porn. Can’t tell if that’s fascinating or fucked up.

Amazon

No, Amazon does not sell porn. But they do sell the new Fire phone. Well, maybe ‘sell’ is a strong word. ‘Peddle’ would be more accurate. But one of the cooler features on that thing is the unaided 3D feature that uses four front-facing cameras to adjust display depth relative to the position of your face.

Unfortunately, despite the novelty of this design no one seems to care about the phone. But as more companies develop ways to view porn in three dimensions this feature will be a natural complement to up and coming freaktech.

Sony

Amazon may have a phone, but let’s get real. If 3D porn is gonna work it has to be immersive. There are two devices looking to promise just that, a truly three dimensional dirty dick experience. One of them is Sony’s ‘Project Morpheus.’ Morpheus will serve primarily as a PS4 game-enhancing device so the sex part isn’t a focus. But where there is a wiener, there’s a way.

Yeah, I said there were two. The other (and better) one?

Oculus Rift

The Oculus Rift is a headset virtual reality device much like Project Morpheus. The difference is that the Rift has been in development way longer. The first dev kit came out in 2012. The second, this year. The finalized, consumer version is supposedly coming out next year. And with it, a slew of companies will be designing apps for the freakier aspects of its usage. Facebook may have purchased the Oculus Rift for $2 billion, but as evidenced by this ‘commercial’ for the device we all know what it will really be used for.

SugarDVD

SugarDVD is looking to become the Netflix of 3D porn. For just $8 a month they stream porn to a variety of devices from phones to your PS4 (where Morpheus will, eventually, be waiting for it). They’re also looking to stream specifically-designed content straight to your Oculus Rift headset. How serious are they? They’re working with a motion-tracking company in L.A. to make VR-optimized content.

A heads up, they’re looking for beta testers. Google ‘em and sign up for their newsletter for a shot at selection…just don’t tell anyone if you get chosen. This is one exclusive beta you don’t really wanna brag about.

Virtual Real Porn

Virtual Real Porn is basically looking to do the same thing SugarDVD is, except they’re adding more dynamic audio and video tech to add to the experience.

Chathouse 3D

Chathouse 3D is the chatroom Sylvester Stallone envisioned in ‘Demolition Man,’ but with actual sex. There is decidedly nothing sensually ambiguous about real people talking and interacting with digital representations of themselves in a virtual reality space. So instead of having a pre-scripted sexual entity carry through your filthiest sexual fantasies you can listen to a real woman talk about her day for three hours in hopes that she’ll give you six solid minutes of VR dirty talk. Yay reality.

As I find more of this shit I’ll talk about it on twitter so follow me there @mightyspan. And there will be much more shit to talk about.


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