This Craigslist Ad Is So Sad… Until You Get To The End, Then It’s Priceless

This Craigslist ad for what appears to be an ad by man being forced to give away his sweet little doggy was spotted by a user on Reddit, but once you start reading it you realize that it’s not quite what you thought it was…

FREE TO ANY WILLING HOME (ROANOKE)
MY girlfriend does not like my beagle molly. SO i have to rehome her.

She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years. She likes to play games. Not totally trained. Has long hair so she’s a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done. Stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work. Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you’re down. Does not bite but she can be mean as hell!
So. . .. . …anyone interested in my 30 year old, selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend? Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed ASAP!!

Wow, that ended so much better than it began.

H/T Mandatory