You may ask why I’m so afraid of crocodiles, and to that I can only refer to the splendid wisdom of Sterling Archer. “Gee, I don’t know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.” But now crocodiles are flying? That’s definitely not going to ease my irrepressible fears. I want my cuddly teddy bear named “Mr. Maloonigans” that I had when I was 5-years-old to comfort and protect me.
National Geographic Photographer and Eddie Bauer Adventure Guide Trevor Frost shared this nightmare fuel on his Instagram. The video is of a frighteningly huge saltwater crocodile propelling its entire body out of the water with just the strength of its tail. The video was captioned with the following:
Crocodiles have incredibly strong tails. Their tails propel them in the water like torpedoes from a submarine. In fact, as you see here, their tails are so strong that they can propel their entire body out of the water. Crocodiles are so cool.
Yeah, crocodiles are so cool. So cool that this prehistoric predator made me shit my pantaloons.
Crocodiles have now become flying teeth missiles. Awesome.