D.C. Is Hosting a Week Celebrating Millennials and I Couldn’t Finish This Headline Because I Hung Myself
Okay, before we get started here, let’s pull up the Best of Ultrafest 2013 playlist on Spotify.
Alright, sick. Now that I’ve got some electronic dance music cursing through me—hold on, let me bum some Molly from one of my well-to-do friends—let’s talk Millennials.
More specifically, let’s talk about the contributions they’ve made to culture, enterprise and society.
Why would we speak of something so non-existent? Because the mayor of D.C. just gave his official backing to Washington’s first ever Millennial Week, for us to fawn over the twenty-somethings who’ve had a profound impact on our society. You know, the kids who taught us important things like “How to Use a Phone During Social Interactions.”
D.C., of course, would fawn over Millennials, because it became inundated with them after Barack Obama won in 2008. But just because a place has a lot of something doesn’t mean it’s worthy of praise. The Earth has a ton of pollution, but we don’t celebrate that stain.
Just kidding, love you Millennials. And please, please nominate me for a Millennial Award.
The weeklong series of events, which will include a political town hall, entrepreneur forum, day of service, food event, and brunch (natch), will culminate in the first ever Millennial Awards, which recognizes top millennials in the areas of entrepreneurship, philanthropy, politics, and culture.
Top. Millennials. I’ll leave you with that.