The Democrats Have Banned Vape-Pens From The Upcoming DNC Because Apparently This Isn’t America

I was way more into the Republican National Convention than I was expecting. It quickly became must watch television for me. So of course I got all hot and heavy for this week’s upcoming Democratic National Convention. However, it seems like the Democrats have decided to toss shit on my parade, because they’re banning everything that makes a good convention fun.

Via Democratic National Convention List of Banned Items:

  • Aerosols
  • Ammunition
  • Animals other than service/guide animals
  • Backpacks
  • Bags exceeding size restriction 18″ x 13″ x 7″
  • Banners, Signs, or Placards of any type or size
  • Bicycles
  • Balloons
  • Coolers
  • Drones and other unmanned aircraft systems
  • E-Cigarettes
  • Explosives
  • Firearms
  • Glass, thermal, or metal containers
  • Laser pointers
  • Mace / Pepper spray
  • Noisemakers, such as air horns and bullhorns (Pennsylvania Convention Center only)
  • Packages
  • Pocket knives
  • Selfie Sticks
  • Structures
  • Supports for signs and placards
  • Toy guns
  • Weapons of any kind
  • Any other items determined to be potential safety hazards

Ok, so most of those make sense. But no e-cigs? Fuck that noise. How can you take away our right to puff some vapor? What danger that even pose? Blocking the view of the people behind me? That’s just Hillary shoving her opinions of smoking down our throats. “Smoking is BAD AND NEEDS TO BE ERADICATED FOR THE GOOD OF OUR CHILDREN!!” (Imagine that in her classic rising volume voice). How is this America? America is all about being legally allowed to do whatever you want, no matter how quickly it puts you into the grave. Is this the America that we have to looking forward? Are they going to take away all of our vices? Beer. Mountain Dew. Porn. Beer. Porn. I don’t want to live in that America.

NEXT: BLOWING VAPE PENS FOR A BILLIARDS TRICK SHOT