Life

Derek Jeter And Las Vegas Sun Owner Brian Greenspun Once Hustled Money Out Of Obama During A Round Of Golf

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Call President Obama anything you want, but the guy is a good sport; it’s basically a requirement if you’re the president. Between all the name-calling, mud-slinging and people on Twitter going off with pathetically moronic insults like these…

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…it takes some restraint to keep yourself from bitch-smackin’ the entire country into the ground. Nicki Minaj got tired of it and went off on all her trolls, but Obama? Nah. Silent stoicism and what I’m going to assume is an industrial strength stress ball that he requires one of his secret servicemen to carry around with him at all times. Dude’s probably popped at least 6 in the last year alone.

And while it’s easy to ignore fools on Twitter who like to think that people actually care about what they have to say (newsflash: no one does), it’s another matter entirely to get blatantly hustled for money on the golf course and take it in stride. That’s what Las Vegas Sun owner Brian Greenspun and Derek Jeter did to Obama, but rather than shoving a nine iron up both of their asses and forcing them to recreate that scene out of Requiem for a Dream on the 5th hole putting green, he handed the money over like a champ…and THEN forced them to go ass-to-ass. But not really.

“He and Derek Jeter stole money from me at Shadow Creek,” Obama said of Greenspun, referring to the course in North Las Vegas. “It was clearly a set up, because when we got to the practice range, he was shanking balls everywhere. I said, ‘You play golf Derek?’ And he said, ‘I just started two weeks ago.’”

They gave Jeter 30 strokes, Obama said, but he realized that was a mistake as soon as they were on the first hole. Jeter crushed him, he said.

“We had to take a picture of me handing Derek Jeter money at the end of the game. Despite that, Brian is a great friend.”(via)

I might be reading too far between the lines here, but I’m thinking that “Brian is a great friend” actually translates to “and then I had his house wiretapped, killed his dog and blackmailed his wife into sodomizing him with a dead porcupine.”

Wow, that got real dark real quick. Too much butt stuff in this post for me…just kidding. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH BUTT STUFF.

[H/T Politico]