Ask a Babe: Does Height Matter to Chicks and Banging Your Ex When You Go Home on College Breaks
Q. Does height matter to girls? I am constantly told I look like Clark Kent so I know girls do find me attractive (trying to say that in the most modest way possible) but I am only 5'6. How much does being vertically challenged factor into a girl being attracted to a guy?
A. You see Clark, to me, this equates to the female question of whether or not boob size matters to dudes. For some, absolutely; for others, not at all. I'll admit that an exceptionally tall man can be a perk, in similar ways that a D-cup might. Large, attractive, fun to grab onto…you get the picture.
But that doesn't mean that either one is a total deal breaker. Admittedly, a woman often looks for a dude at least a couple of inches taller than herself. But you can't blame us- it's wired in us all the way back to the time of hunters and gatherers. But because the average American woman is 5'4'' (or so Wikipedia informs me), you sir are in luck. There are plenty of babes out there who I'm sure would love to gaze up…or maybe even down, into those eyes.
You may not receive as much short man fortune as E from Entourage, but let's face it; you couldn't land Sloan if you were 6'3''.
Q. I used to be best friends with this girl but we had a bad fight and stopped talking. During that time I lost my virginity to a guy that she had had sex with once before. We're friends again, and I just don't know how to tell her. So, how do i drop that bomb on her? And should she have the right to be mad?
A. Unless you're planning on having a second BFFO (best friend falling out), which might I recommend avoiding at all costs, you've got to be honest with her. Give it to her straight, leave out the gory details, and reinforce that good old chicks before d*cks state of mind. If you wait, you're either going to end up dealing with that b*tch who dramatized and ratted out the gossip, or a long, guilt-ridden friendship. And I don't think that's the kind of bullsh*t you want to deal with.
By the way, you're a girl, right?
Q. Are there very many women who like to dress men as women?
A. Gosh, I hope not.
Q. My ex-girlfriend, who I dated on an off for 6 years, is trying to f*ck again (Sweet right? She's a babe). I for sure know that after I do said f*cking that she'll want to get more serious than this, hence my question. To be honest with you, I'll probably marry this girl after college, but that's the problem, college. I go to school out of state and I play lacrosse so I can't really ever come home, except for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I know that she'll want to date while I'm home in the summer, but I don't really want to be that serious. How do I express this to her without pissing her off and without losing rights to that sweet, sweet sexy time.
A. Math was never my strong suit, but what I've deduced from the numbers you've provided is that you're between the ages of 19 and 21, and started dating this babe when you were in about 9th grade. Therefore she's your high school girlfriend. Red flag number one.
And you're “assuming” you'll marry her? Do you also assume you'll be listening to the same band you were obsessed with as a 15 year-old? Didn't think so. The two can provide fond memories, but both the Backstreet Boys and high school girlfriends eventually burn out; so be careful with these elaborate plans. Enjoy college while it lasts, because it really is the most sublimely irresponsible and ignorant time of your life.
Holding onto a home-ance is possible, and frankly ideal–the anticipation of that Holiday hookup is as exciting as Christmas morning itself. And once you find out Santa's not real, it gets even better. Just make sure that your babe truly understands you're not trying to get serious before you reel her in and go breaking her heart.