Finance Douche Blows Lines Of Coke In Plain Sight On The Subway, Offers Gummies To Fellow Passengers

Cocaine. Cocaine. Cocaine. May be my least favorite drug on the planet for three reasons. 1.) You feel the need to do it every eight minutes. Zero longevity. 2.) You’re talking a mile-a-minute about the starting your own business (something you never planned on doing before your last bump) to people who are just waiting for you to shut the fuck up. 3.) If you were shitfaced before, it makes you un-drunk. And I’ll choose drunk over undrunk 11 times out of 10.

And then there’s this dude who probably sprinkles some yayo on his corn flakes in the morning. The guy, who is thought to be a finance worker, was spotted on a London subway bragging to passengers that he “just likes taking it” and rubbing it on his gums and snorting the entire bag. Being the genuinely nice guy he is, he offered a “gummy” to his co-passengers, who included children.

I gotta give it to the dude, for being quite possibly the biggest dickbag in all of London, his showmanship was very entertaining. Quite the performer. His post-snort mannerisms and sounds were probably the best of anyone I’ve seen doing a class D drug in plain site on public transportation. At least top 3.

The video, which was obtained exclusively by The Sun, can be seen HERE. You’re going to want to see it for yourself.

Personally, my favorite line (no pun intended) was  “This is no playground boys. If you want to do a line and fucking play, you do it,” before snorting the rest of the bag.

[H/T Unilad]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.