You know how the old saying goes, “If you love someone, let them go…after they drag you three avenues on a crowded street while you tearfully beg for them to take you back.” I mean you gotta be a special kind of baby back bitch to willingly emasculate yourself like that in public. Of all the less humiliating avenues this dude could have pursued–sending an Edible Arrangements to her work, writing her a poem, buying her a Starbucks gift card, etc.–this dickless beta male decided to get dragged through dog shit and street grime in an attempt to convince his ex he’s deserving. “Ya Becky at first I thought it was a good idea to break up with Johnny and then he pulled down my stocking on Main Street while I dragged him from my foot like excess toilet paper for four blocks. So romantic.” God dammit dude maybe you should find a happy medium between that and Jay-Z’s mantra: thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em. Cause I don’t fuckin need em.
[h/t Metro]