Dude With 8-Inch Bionic Penis Has So Many Requests For Sex And His Reason For Denying Them Is Simply Unacceptable

by 11 months ago
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By now you bros are well aware of the rags to riches story of Mohammed Abad. Mohammed was just like any young, energetic six-year-old until he was pushed in the street during a snowball fight. A car hit Abad and dragged him nearly 2,000 feet, also ripping off his Tootsie Roll off and destroying one of his testicles.

Fast forward through almost four decades of medical advancements and Mr. Abad was blessed with a fully-functioning schlong in July of 2015. The prosthetic device, which was made from nerves and skin grafted from his arm, inflates with liquid from his stomach when he presses a button in his balls.

Mohammed lost his virginity at age 43 by having sex with a sex worker who volunteered to hop on his replica rod, waving her $200/hour fee to ride the lightning. Bout time, VIRGIN AMIRIGHT! Just kidding, that was insensitive.

Well, more good news has come Mohammed’s way, as he claims he’s received over 50 requests from women all around the world to have no-strings-attached sex with his unique member. The only problem is that Mohammed doesn’t see this as a good thing.

According to Daily Mail,

Since it was fitted in March the man-made organ has given Mr Abad, who lost his natural penis as a boy in a road accident, 50 sexual offers from intrigued women. 

But despite the deluge of interest the Edinburgh man hasn’t activated his pride and joy since sleeping with sex worker Charlotte Rose eight months ago.

He said working 14-hour shifts meant he is ‘just too tired for sex’.

He told the Star on Sunday: ‘I get a lot of messages from women online who ask me if I will have sex with them.

‘They’ve heard about my bionic penis and they want to try it out. They are all very intrigued and think I can make love for hours.’

Hey Mohammed, huddle up. You have to come at me with a better excuse than being “too tired.” Your bionic cock is a landing-on-the-moon moment for humanity. You don’t owe it to yourself to bang that thing into oblivion, you owe it to us–the common man with an extremely average God-given chess piece that is hidden with overgrown, abandoned pubic hair. Because tomorrow I’ll wake up and I’ll be 50, and I’ll still be banging with this shit. You’re sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you’re too much of a pussy to cash in on it. I don’t know much, but I know that.

[h/t Daily Mail]


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