Dude Busted With 70 Psychedelic Mushrooms Makes Late Case For Mugshot Of The Year

David Kalb was arrested after state troopers allegedly found 70 psychedelic mushrooms and a small amount of marijuana inside his apartment. OH NO! Lock this animal away and throw away the key! At any second this maniac could pop open a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream and start watching Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, and accidentally find proof of the 11 dimensions of string theory!

Pennsylvania state troopers responded to a disturbance call at a public housing facility and found Kalb. The 41-year-old told officers that he had lost the key to his apartment. Officers escorted Kalb to his apartment. Kalb must have been on some good shit because he invited the police officers into his apartment to help him find his keys. Trooper Ryan Marmol wrote in the police report, “In plain view, I observed a small amount of marijuana, 70 mushroom plants and 10 mason jars containing active ingredients to manufacture psychedelic mushrooms.”

There is no truth to the rumor that when Kalb was arrested he told the authorities, “Hey man, these plants and fungi are from the Earth and have been on this marble planet millions of years before us human beings ever stepped foot here.”

Despite being arrested for a harmless and victimless crime, Kalb seemed to shake off his arrest pretty quickly and was jubilantly smiling ear-to-ear in his amazing mugshot.

Kalb was arraigned on charges of manufacture and delivery of a controlled substance, as well as possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. A judge ordered him to be held in the Westmoreland County Prison on $10,000 bail. His preliminary hearing is scheduled for Dec. 15.

Now because of some shrooms and weed, not only is Kalb in prison but he also faces being homeless. Executive Director Michael L. Washowich of the housing complex told TribLive, “Those type of illegal activities will not be tolerated and are definitely in violation of the lease agreement.”

Hopefully Kalb came down safely from his trip because finding yourself locked up in a prison cell can be nerve-racking, especially since they are small and you don’t have mush room. *taps mic* “Is this thing on?”

[TribLive]