Brilliant. I swear to Jesus when I retire, I’m not going to travel the world or learn a new language, I’m going to stick polarizing signs on my lawn and just perch up in a tree in full camo with a paintball gun and a bottle of Evan Williams just praying some little piss ant steps foot on my lawn so I can unload 30 years of working-for-the-man stress that only watching a child cry can alleviate. Oh you tried to nab my “Bush Did 9/11” sign Tommy? You may need a week long ice bath to heal the wounds I’ll inflict on your baby body. I’ll be in for dinner in a sec hunny, just need to teach one more spoiled little shit a lesson on property law. Who the fuck am I kidding, my wife will leave me far before that. Don’t fuck with a man whose lost everything except a “Hillary Did Harambe” sign.
