Real estate developer Hal Jones is so Texas that when he takes dumps they’re probably full T-bone steaks. Texas people don’t mess around when it comes to having the biggest and the best, and I kinda respect that. I would’ve killed to have a backyard like this when I was growing up. I’d actually kill to have a backyard like this right now.
When I was a kid, my favorite movie was “Blank Check.” One of the things Preston used his seemingly endless supply of money on was building a water slide that went from his room into the pool. To me, this was the height of opulence. But Hal Jones just made Preston Waters his bitch with this backyard water park.
He wasn’t okay with just having one sick pool, he decided to have four. Each distinct pool has its own thing – hot tub, kiddie pool, lazy river, and the “negative edge pool” which has a big water slide on it.
And get this – he can control the speed of the lazy river, turning it up to the point that “it’s a white water environment.” Are you kidding me?
Still not into it? In the middle of the lazy river is a fully stocked, swim-up bar, complete with huge TV’s and bartenders slinging dranks. If you’re not into that then you need to just get the hell out of America.
Quick side note – who is writing the copy for the voiceover lady in this video. I love her ending line – “One could say… Hal likes his pools to be the biggest AND the best.” Yeah, we could say that, but we would probably be more interesting in our observations, ya big dumb idiot.