Dude Passes Out And Wakes Up With Bike Lock Around His Neck, Swallows Pride And Calls Fire Department

Genius. The whole “drawing a cock on the forehead” shtick was getting a little stale. Actually, seeing your friend wake up and attempt to have a serious conversation with a dong on his face is unrivaled entertainment so I take back my previous statement. But waking up after getting sloshed the night before with a bike lock around your neck with no key to freedom is so simple and innovative, I wish I had thought of it. It’s like a Scarlett Letter for not being able to handle your liquor.

And this dude from the UK had to phone the Fire Department’s “Technical Rescue Unit” to set him free. The tool: advanced rail cutting equipment used to cut railway tracks. Classic.

Erm…Just when firefighters from Coventry Fire Station thought they’d seen it all, this man turned up with a bike…

Posted by West Midlands Fire Service on Monday, June 22, 2015

Coventry Fire Station Commander, Pete Drummond spoke to Unilad about the incident:

“Just when you think you’ve seen it all… The poor lad had been out drinking with some friends, but when he woke up he found they’d put a bike lock around his neck! If that wasn’t bad enough, they’d also lost the keys.

We’re used to unusual requests. We’ve attended a number of “50 Shades of Grey” calls in the past where we’ve been asked to remove bits ‘n’ bobs from people’s… bits ‘n’ bobs. And, it’s not always the bedroom – we had one couple who managed to handcuff themselves to the inside of their own front door.

We see the funny side, but there’s a serious message: fire crews dealing with this kind of stuff aren’t available for genuine emergencies.”

Moral of the story: No matter how fucked up you are, fight it.

[H/T Unilad]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.