A 33-year-old Londoner named Rich Moore was arrested for criminal damage after going on a minor rampage while collecting his belongings from the house he shared with his now ex-girlfriend after they broke up.
After destroying her $240 sunglasses, Rich smashed the vibrator of his ex, 34-year-old Sarah Mills, citing “She loved it more than me — and I bought it for her.”
Rich told The Sun:
“I was fed up.
“She moved another fella in pretty much straight away after I paid for her to go on holiday to Lanzarote.
“I’ve gone to get my stuff and I came across the glasses and smashed them. Then I found the dildo and I just ripped it up. It was one of those bullet ones.
“She loved the dildo more than me, that’s why I got the hump with it. I bought it, it cost me £30.” ($36)
Take a good look at Rich’s competition:
After Sarah snitched to police, her boyfriend of seven years was arrested.
“I told the police I had broken the dildo and offered to pay for it to save us all going to court but they weren’t having it,” Rich said.
“I wanted to go to court with a T-shirt saying Save The Dildos but I decided it was probably best not to.”
In Rich’s defense, I don’t think there’s one dude reading this who hasn’t gotten lock jaw from going down on a girl for what’s felt like centuries, only to have her say, “I’m not going to orgasm.” That’s when she waits for you to leave to take out her little vibrating sex god and in the time it takes you to say “I’m Matt and I am sexually inadequate” she’s had an earth-shattering orgasm far more powerful that you could ever provide. It’s cheating. So props to Rich for fighting the good fight.
[h/t The Sun]