Dude Tripping Balls On LSD Breaks Into Neighbors’ House And Saves Their Dog From Imaginary House Fire

By 10.17.16
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In an egregious case of police brutality in the town of Halfmoon, New York, police arrested a man who broke into his neighbors’ home to ‘save’ their dog from a house fire. *An imaginary house fire.

43-year-old Michael Orchard mixed LSD with cough medicine when he drove his car through his neighbors’ fence, smashed through a glass back door and then took their dog believing he was “rescuing the dog from the house,” according to the Telegraph. All this occurred after he went door to door banging on front doors in the neighborhood screaming about a raging fire.

Trooper Mark Cepiel told reporters that “troopers found an individual standing in the middle of the roadway with a large white dog.” Orchard was reportedly standing ‘heroically,’ proud of his achievement, and peacefully handed the dog over to officers.

Cepiel added:

“He drove over yards and through the fence. At no point was he on the roadway and no illegal substances were found in his possession.

Michael Orchard was charged with second degree burglary and third degree criminal mischief and is being held at $15,000 bond.

How you can arrest this man? It really doesn’t matter if the fire was real or not, it only matters whether Orchard thought it was real. We’re talking about a man who ran into an inferno to save a dog when he could have eaten someone’s face. But not HIS dog, just A dog. Find me a more selfless act. You simply cannot. If authorities put themselves in Orchard’s frame of mind for one second, instead of throwing the cuffs on him, they’d hit him with a red badge of courage. Keep your head up, Mike. In some alternate universe, you are being paraded through town escorted by droves of beautiful women who are dying to bone a hero. But now, in this universe, you’re probably being butt fucked by a man named Blade. Tough break, man.

[h/t Telegraph]

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