Dude Wearing Two Hats Dancing His Tits Off Deserves A Tip Of The Caps

When you’re at a Lids in the mall and trying to figure out which fitted to wear before you spit game to the cashier at Forever 21…

If you’ve ever been out and immediately regretted wearing a particular article of clothing, you should be able to empathize, maybe even respect, the dual-hat play. Because nothing is worse than wearing a safe buttoned-down collared shirt when you’d wished you’d worn your sleeveless Clay Aiken tee.

Can bringing two hats out to the bar be a nuisance? Sure. But when you overhear that cutie at the bar say she’s a Yankee’s fan and you’re sporting a Sox hat, you’ll have the ability to switch hats faster than Miami Heat fans did after LeBron peaced. And this could exponentially increase your odds of adding a third cap, to your penis, right before you take her to Pound Town.

So, hats off to you, bro. You fucking genius.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.