Europe is definitely on edge right now and that is understandable considering they have been hit hard by two major terror attacks in the last five months. However, it what may have been a case of being too worrisome, as concerned citizens called the bomb squad because of what they thought was a ticking explosive, but in the end turned out to be a vibrating sex toy.
On Tuesday, an employee of a video game arcade in Halberstadt, Germany became distressed after a strange buzzing sound coming from a garbage bin in the men’s restroom. Even though he didn’t actually see something, he said something. He believed it was a bomb so he called authorities and bomb disposal experts rushed to the potentially dangerous scene.
The arcade as well as surrounding buildings were evacuated, forcing 90 people out of their offices. The nearby roads were also cordoned off.
The bomb squad went to defuse the deadly explosive, opened the lid to the garbage can and… found a vibrating sex toy. A cock ring to be more precise. No semtex, but rather a sementex. The bomb disposal pros were able to defuse the cock ring by turning it off. The booby trap was previously vibrating inside the bin at its highest setting. They could make a movie about this saga and call it “The Squirt Locker.”
I never thought a cock ring would fit in someone’s can, but here we are.
Thank goodness that this sticky bomb didn’t blow, would have left a small mushroom cloud.
Vibrating sex toy causes bomb scare in Germany https://t.co/wR0rHThQsi pic.twitter.com/1KcyL3yJgS
— Telegraph Breaking News (@TelegraphNews) April 6, 2016
I imagine that the payload exploded from the warhead, possibly blasting an unsuspecting handler in the face, in the bathroom stall right before the cock ring was discarded. Or maybe nothing happened and the handler just sat there disappointed because it was a dud and they blamed their poor performance because they get nervous doing these sorts of things in public places.
The terrorists have won.
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