I am completely aware that Facebook is a place for you to showcase your achievements and possessions. Some people flaunt their children with 13 photos per day of their shitty arts and crafts or a 19-minute long video of their dopey kid who finally learned to tie his shoes at 9-years-old. Some people post photos of their crappy dinner they cooked of Spanish paella that looks more like a bloody and stewy dog shit. Some people display their new Prius they bought that came with a rescue dog in the back because they are single-handedly going to save the world.
Other people post marathon photos. Every weekend. Pre-marathon breakfast photos. “Driving to the marathon” marathon photos. At the starting line marathon photos. “During the marathon” marathon photos. At the finish line marathon photos. The post-marathon celebratory beer marathon photos. We get it. You ran a marathon. Congratulations.
This hilarious video by the fine folks over at Above Average slams the people who absolutely can not shut up that they ran a marathon.
The fake “30 for 30” shows the incredible journey of Kim Novelle, the first person to ever run a marathon without talking about it. The mock ESPN segment is titled “The Secret Marathon,” and gives you exclusive insight into this never-before-seen phenomenon.
In the words of the immortal crying wrestling fan, “Thank you so much for saying what needed to be said.” Now excuse me while I go post a photo of my Shake Shack burger and fries.