Man Possibly High On Heroin Arrested For Sleeping In Convenience Store And Where He Dozed Off Is Hilariously Ironic

By 09.14.16

sleeping-bus-driver-wtf

This story is almost too perfect and funny in a CBS Sitcom kind of way.

At approximately 8:58 p.m., Plainfield police officers were dispatched to the Cumberland Farms store at 12 S. Main St. in Moosup after receiving complaints of a man, later identified as 37-year-old Randy Valade, nodding off while spending 40 minutes attempting to make a milkshake, according to a press release.

Alright so 40 minutes to make a milkshake and around minute 5 it probably stopped being a milkshake and turned to milk soup.

Police said a woman, identified as 47-year-old Gina Mineau, was found slumped against a nearby wall outside the store.

Forgive her for nodding off, her man took 40 minutes to secure a beverage.

A search found Valade and Mineau were both in possession of “numerous” bags of heroin. Mineau was also found to have suboxone, a narcotic sometimes used to treat drug addiction, on her person without a prescription, police said. Police said Valade resisted officer’s attempts to escort him to a cruiser and had to be restrained.

In case “40 minutes to make a milkshake” didn’t clue you in, the pair were allegedly pretty banged up. Valade was charged with possession of narcotics and interfering with a police officer and held on a $10,000 bond before being released. His girl was charged with two counts of possession of narcotics and possession of drug paraphernalia and was bonded and released.

Now, the Big Bang-style joke we’ve all been waiting for…

Police said they found Valade sleeping inside the store’s “Chill Zone” with a frozen drink in his hand.

Just like Mike & Molly, the bad jokes write themselves.

[via Norwich Bulletin]

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