If I’ve learned anything from the movies, it’s that all of your neighbors are probably secretly serials killers or cannibals or witches or something. It’s pretty much the plotline of every other horror film that hits the market nowadays. It makes me wonder how many people on my block moonlight as deranged psychopaths who eat hookers. Hopefully no more than two. Mostly because eventually they’ll run out of room in their own backyard and start using mine. There’s a lot of things I don’t need in my life. Stray dogs digging up the bones of dead hookers that I didn’t even kill is definitely one of those things.
Via Daily Mail:
“A man on the run for 40 years after a deadly attack in Florida evaded capture in a mundane manner, according to authorities and friends. He got married, settled in the quiet town of Reidsville, North Carolina, and ran a wallpaper store in Greensboro. People said the man they knew as James Emmet Manion and his wife were cordial but quiet, blending into the community of about 14,000 near the Virginia border. He made sure his dog Prancer received regular haircuts, voted Republican in several elections and was seen working in his tree-shaded yard.
‘I couldn’t say enough nice things about both of them. There was never an inkling of anything amiss,’ said Preston Trigg, who grew up in Reidsville and kept in touch with the couple after he helped sell them his mother’s house in 2002. But the life of James Manion was part of a long deception dating back to a violent 1977 crime in Florida, according to the FBI.”
Ok, right there, that just described like half the people who live on my block. Old couple who spend their days hanging out in the shade with their dogs? I guess my entire block is just a bunch of fucking hitmen.
“The fugitive — whose real name is William Claybourne Taylor — was the triggerman in an attempt to assassinate the then-mayor of the city of Williston, Eugene Bailey, authorities said. The mayor was wounded but another government official, former Immigration and Naturalization official Walter Scott, died in the attack. Taylor is scheduled to have a court hearing in Greensboro, North Carolina, on Thursday – a week after his capture. He disappeared in 1980 after posting $20,000 bail following his arrest and after he was indicted on charges of murder and aggravated battery, authorities said. The 1977 shooting failed to kill Bailey, despite the fact that he was shot three times at point blank range by alleged gunman Taylor after the car he was a passenger in drove of the side of the road and crashed into some trees.
It took local authorities three years to arrest Taylor, his older brother Ray and another man for their involvement in the botched hit job. The trio had been hoping to cash in by representing Bailey’s family in the wake of his death, with struggling lawyer Ray planning to serve as executor of the deceased man’s $2.5million estate. Ray, who in years after the plot had risen in the legal ranks to become a successful Tennessee prosecutor, was convicted in 1980 as the mastermind behind the plot. He appealed that conviction however over the next decade and in 1990 agreed to plead guilty to a charge of second-degree murder, receiving a 25-year-sentence that included time served for the decade he had already spent behind bars prior to his conviction. Ray has since completed his sentence and is a free man. The third man involved in the shooting, Paul Allen, was the driver of the car, and avoided prison completely after he agreed to testify against Ray during his murder trial.”
So this sounds like the plot of a Pineapple Express sequel. A struggling lawyer recruits his weird brother and a drinking buddy to off some rich dude and get paid to handle his estate. Stories like this always blow my mind. How does a dude post his own bail and then just change his name to ensure he doesn’t get caught. “Hey, you look like a lot like a suspected murderer.” “Nope, not my name. You must have me confused with someone else.” “Yeah very true the name isn’t the same. Sorry for the trouble.” No wonder the FBI has a most wanted list as long as an elephant’s dick. People can just say whatever they want and walk free. Maybe that’s how all these serial killers always get away. They just don’t go by their serial killer names and no one even bats an eye about it. “What’s your name?” “It’s definitely not the Zodiac Killer, I’ll tell you that.” “Ok cool, have a nice night.”