Chick From Maury Who Was Ted Cruz’s Doppleganger Just Netted A $10,000 Porn Deal

By 04.24.16

A few days ago, we brought you the story of a woman from the Maury Show who couldn’t figure out which of the multitude of men she had slept with was the father of her daughter and who also looked exactly like Ted Cruz. And that’s not just an internet exaggeration, either. I’m sure there are plenty of men out there who have been struggling to keep their inexplicable sexual attraction to Ted Cruz a secret that are now head over heels for the revelation. I’ve just never met any of them. However, these men are probably why someone gave her a porn contract.

Being an internet meme doesn’t pay the bills, though, so the “female Ted Cruz” is hoping to capitalize on her newfound internet stardom by filming a porn scene.

XHamster.com, a popular porn website, has offered to pay Hayes and her fiance $10,000 for a 6-minute sex tape.

For those keeping score, that’s about $1,666.66 per each minute of carnal screen time.

“We wanted Searcy because overnight she became a viral meme,” XHamster spokesman Mike Kulich told The Huffington Post. “I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action.”

The internet is a truly amazing place. If this was any other election year, this woman would have just chilled on Maury, figured out which of the five dudes in question was the father of her daughter before going home to make a sextape with her fiance that the world would never get to see. Thankfully, times have changed, because now we can all see what Ted Cruz’s Vinegar Strokes (probably) look like. I’m also pretty happy that her fiance is excited about his wife being more famous than Madonna after making $10,000. You know who else made $10,000? My neighbor in a settlement suit after the mailman ran over his dog. $10,000 isn’t even close to Madonna-rich. Regardless, I’m just happy someone out there is giving this woman her six minutes of fame, because we all deserve to have what makes us special celebrated by the world. Granted, she’s special for being the lookalike to someone who she thought was already president. Which I guess kind of makes sense since I’m going to assume she probably doesn’t watch a whole lot of CNN.


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