People Shared The ‘Funniest Lies To Tell Kids’ And Some Of These Are Truly Brilliant

by 6 months ago
Billy Madison

Happy Madison / YouTube


Kids are gullible but only because they haven’t experienced the world yet. There’s no reason for kids to think that an adult is lying to them over trivial details in life, and some kids don’t even realize what a lie is. This level of gullibility is what made it so easy for my childhood best friend’s uncle to convince him that the reason he had freckles all over his arms and face is that an elephant sharted all over him at the zoo when he was a baby…which, for obvious reasons, is the best lie I’ve ever heard of someone telling a child. Below, a bunch of people in an AskReddit thread threw out the funniest lies to tell kids and these are downright hilarious:


fromhouston:
I was on a flight where a kid saw the button for calling a flight attendant, didn’t know what it was but clearly was thinking about pressing it, and so asked his Dad what it did. His Dad said it opens a trapdoor under your seat and drops you out of the bottom of the plane.
Afterwards, the kid spent the whole flight intrigued by the button, thinking about and talking about pushing it, but too worried to actually do it.


HenryTMoran:
My dad said if I could look after a special growing rock, and watered it each day until it stopped growing I could get a dog. I’d water it and every week, while I was at school he’d replace it with a slightly bigger rock


NeroJoe:
That, as their father, I could change their names whenever I wanted to.
One time I pretended to get on the phone with the “Arizona Name Registry”, and renamed my two kids Snargle and Gorf because they kept misbehaving.
They were bawling. I could barely keep a straight face.


smarii:
One time I was eating m&ms and my 3 year old nephew asked what was it, so I told him it was candy and when he asked for some I joked that it was vegetable flavored. The green m&ms were made out of lettuce, the red ones out of tomatoes, etc. He didn’t eat m&ms for the longest time and it was hard to convice him I was kidding because he started to believe we were tricking him into eating more vegetables.


regalternative:
Not exactly a lie, but when I was first learning swear words, my parents made the mistake of telling me those were “words only mommys and daddys are allowed to say”. So I was playing house with my sister and her friends, and I was the dad. I promptly went on a swearing tirade as the “dad” and got in big trouble…


goatguyzer:
My friends parents told her that moose weren’t real growing up. Like, unicorns, and moose were both fictional creatures. When she got to high school someone was talking about seeing a moose and she thought they were trying to be funny and basically she found out at 16 that moose are, in fact, real. When she went home to tell her parents her mom was in tears of laughter.


Wisco1856:
I convinced my kids I was a Jedi. I waved my right hand to turn up the volume on my car while secretly using my left hand to turn up the volume with the steering wheel controls. I did the same thing with the electronic controls for my seat.
When they challenged me to do something else, I replied that I had already done too much because a Jedi should never use the Force for trivial things.


craftyqueer:
When we were in the car and it was raining, my mom would wait for a bridge or tunnel and as we approached it she would tell us she was going to make the rain stop in 3..2..1…
She told us she could only make the rain stop for a minute because it made her so tired. My siblings and I were convinced she was magic.


MeanForNoReason:
Me: “How old are you, now?”
Kid: “Six.”
Me: “Wow! When I was your age I was only nine.”
It’s great to see the very puzzled look on their faces.


BlackLeftHand:
That your ears turn purple when you lie. My best friend’s mom told her this when we were little, and she covered her ears or took down her ponytail every time she lied until she was 8.


johnwalkersbeard:
My wife and I have convinced our 6 year old that you can only go to Chuck E Cheese if you’re invited by someone else for a birthday party. I guess kind of like the Freemasons.
So far, none of his friends have asked for a Chuck E Cheese party.


12481624:
my sister told me that yellow leaves tasted like bananas and brown tasted like chocolate. I apparently went and ate leaves, but came back and told her they don’t taste how she said they would. She told me I must have eaten a bad batch… so I continued to try find and eat these tasty leaves


Bogaragaraga:
When me and my brothers were kids and complained about something, my dad would go to the phone and say “Hello? Complaint department?” and describe our grievance.
He said the complaint department for everybody was in Calgary and was run by someone called Chief Owakanoake, and he was getting tired of our complaints.
I believed that for the longest time.


babbl-on:
The ice cream truck only plays music when it’s out of ice cream.


rurtbeynilda:
When my kids were little I used to set the clocks ahead a couple three hours every news years eve, shout happy new year, put them to bed, then celebrate real New Years with the grown ups.
More of a top tip than a prank, to be honest


Dead_Halloween:
**unplugs the joystick**
“You control the badguys”.


Chosenone00:
My friend said he was once in the car with his family and they drove past an industrial plant. Smoke was billowing out of a chute, as they do at these plants. He asked his mom what it was and she told him it was the cloud factory and those were the clouds being released into the sky. He said he honestly thought clouds were man made for a better portion of his life.


Lontar47:
That if they don’t eat their vegetables they won’t be able to poop and they’ll explode.


Refinedkaos:
I told my 7 year old sister that if you lick your fingers and wipe it off in your ear you will have way better hearing and when she did it i talked a little louder and raised the volume on out tv when she wasn’t looking. She did this everyday till her teacher said that it wasn’t true TL;DR convinced my sister to wet willy herself for a week


This is brilliant.

Foothillsgirl:
That the human body is only allotted so many words a year, and if you talk to much now, you might not be able to talk for the rest of the year.


Obsessedgoose:
I tell mine that Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter. Then showed them the book and pictures from the movie. It is hilarious to watch them argue with people. I’ve heard family tell them there is no such thing as vampires. Their response? “Because Abraham killed them all, duh”. It’s great.


Well, bros, that wraps up the coverage from my end but if you want to keep on reading these AskReddit stories you can CLICK HERE to see that thread in full!


TAGSAskRedditFunny LiesLIESLying to Kids

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