Gentleman Eats Taco Bell, Chugs Laxatives, Superglues His Asshole Shut, Then Attempts To Make Caca With Uproarious Results
Sometimes you witness an online video clip that is so extraordinarily whimsical that you immediately recognize that the very reason the internet exists is for you to be engrossed and flabbergasted by such gripping footage. For some people, that once-in-a-lifetime unicorn could very well be this unforgettable video.
This viral sensation comes to us via The Simon Christopher Show.
The video’s description said, “Today I drink laxatives and super glue my asshole shut!” That explanation had me sold faster than larger gals leaving the Jenny Craig Weight Loss Center and accidently stumbling into the Krispy Kreme that’s next door after the donut purveyor switches on their hot light.
And just in case the laxative didn’t evacuate his bowels effectively enough he doubled down on the diarrhea by eating Taco Bell.
So his friend did him a solid and glued his balloon knot shut, but wait, there is some subterfuge at hand because his asshole begins to burn. The friend poured pepper spray into his bunghole!!!
It was fucking hysterical though.
They finally glue his butthole shut tighter than a straight man going to jail. Then in his darkest hour, his moment of desperation he runs to the bathroom only to find thumb tacks on the toilet seat.
With friends like these who needs enemies.
Finally at the 8:00 mark the dreaded, but highly anticipated firestorm of mud arrives. However, the doodie can not escape because his buttcheeks are glued together.
“It’s like a Hot Pocket of shit,” he proclaims.
The struggle is real.
Some of you may ask, “Butt why?”
Did you ask why Pablo Picasso painted Guernica?
You just appreciate the artistry and realize how blessed you are to celebrate its greatness.