Get Your Facial Game On Point With These Tissues That Have Girls’ Faces On Them

by 3 years ago

kate-spank

Spankrags

Meet Kate. Kate is 22 and from England. But that’s not actually Kate up there. No, that’s just Kate’s face. In fact, that’s not even Kate’s face, but rather a picture of Kate’s face printed on a tissue which is designed for you to come into.

Because you know, modern masturbation, what with its massive amounts of streaming pornography available in an instant is just not good enough. You’re either coming on your chest or in a towel or at the cat and you know what? Don’t you wish you were coming on a girl’s face?

I know I do. Coming on a girl’s face is the best. Unfortunately, most girls won’t let you. At least, not that often. Special occasions. After an anniversary dinner or just when they’ve had too much champagne (champagne really brings out the raunch in the ladies).

So, with facials coming so rarely, I doubt your facial game is as tight as it could be. You probably missed the face the last time you tried. Got it all over the carpet. Then the dog licked it up. SUPES EMBARRASSING  So how do you get back on fleek? With Spankrags.

Spankrags come from Europeans Jonathan Courtney and Thomas Viehweger, who thought you should jizz into tissues that have photographs of girls’ faces on them. And, you know what? It’s probably demeaning, but wrap this thing around a basketball and after a couple weeks you could probably hit a pore from a distance of four meters. Your woman HAS to respect that skill and dedication.

Kate isn’t your only option, either. Just my favorite. Meet the rest of the Spankrags crew.

Say hello to Alexa. She’s surely worthy of your semen.

alexa

Spankrags

And Narcisa, who may bite off your dick after you are done.

marcisa

Spankrags

Want something vaguely ethnic? Sarah’s here!

sarah

Spankrags

Lest you think these two EuroBros are sexist, they’ll be making a line of dude faces later in the year that chicks can rub against their clits, as though the Brawny paper towel man was actually performing oral sex on them or something.

Ten tissues will set you back 12 dollars. And you don’t even need to pick which woman you want. Each box includes ten different ladies! Fake. Facial. Away. Bros.

[Via Playboy]


TAGSMasturbationSex toys

Join The Discussion


Comments are closed.