The Massive Mystery Sea Creature That Washed Up On The Shore Of The Philippines Has Been Identified By Scientists

I know what you’re wondering and I am too: what the fuck is that.

This mammoth sheep dog looking ma’fucka washed up on shore in Cagdainao, Dinagat Islands and appeared on the shore after a 4.4 magnitude earthquake rocked the coast of the Philippines on Sunday.
Some locals believe that the 20-foot sea animal, known by some as a “globster,” is a new species scientists have not yet discovered, but experts are now claiming that the sea monster is the carcass of a large dead whale in the advanced stages of decomposition. The sheep-dog hair is probably muscle fibres being exposed by decay, according to experts.

Scientists studying the blob have since released a statement:

A report yesterday said that the dead body of sea creature was believed to be a Sea Cow or Dugong but the team’s finding is unanimous that it is a whale, or Balyena and confirmed also by the BFAR Personnel, but is uncertain as to what particular whale species due to its advance decomposition.

Whatever this thing is, I want it out of my line of vision immediately.

[h/t Unilad]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.