If we’re not lying to ourselves here, Valentine’s Day is a complete sham in which the chocolate industry makes a killing by telling everyone that “chocolate = lurve,” when in reality the only thing that chocolate equals is clogged arteries and a big payday on February 14th for Hershey’s, Lindt, Nestle, etc. And this is coming form someone who wasn’t alone on V-Day and even got to see Deadpool – the “holiday” is crap.
But for 22-year-old Victoria who’s spent the past few summers in Dublin, Valentine’s Day is more of a joke. Rather than pine away for a lover or spend the day binge-eating chocolate bars, Victoria decided to text 17 random men in her phone “Happy Valentine’s Day” just to see what their responses would be. As with most girls, Victoria has a plethora of random numbers in her phone from men she’s met while out and about on the town, never to be spoken to again…except for her one, awkward V-Day text, of course. The first to respond? Someone she named “Niall” in her phone:
The next guy who responded is listed as “Penguin Erector,” which Victoria explains is because “…this guy told me he worked the penguin exhibit at the Dublin Zoo. He claimed his job title was Penguin Erector which, according to him, meant he had the duty of picking up the penguins and placing them upright if they fell over.”
Spoiler alert: she didn’t add him on LinkedIn.
As for Ryan here…well, Victoria wasn’t exactly flattered when he referred to her as “the one with the yellow hair n big tits yes?”
And last but not least, Isaac probably wins at least a few points for saying she has a nice butt:
You’re probably wondering what happened to the 14 other men that Victoria texted – unfortunately they didn’t respond, however she seems to be okay with their silent rejection:
As for the ones who didn’t reply… Stephen, Jeremy, Cian, Eoin, Connor, and Cormac to name a few… I hope you’re eating heart shaped ravioli, basking in the glow of a tealight in an overcrowded restaurant, and sitting across from a girl you met in Copper’s. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.
[Via Blog on Fleek]