You Have Never Loved Anything More Than This Girl Loved ‘Jurassic World’ And Here Are The Tears Of Joy To Prove It


Ok, I’m going to suspend my reality for a moment and pretend that I didn’t cry during an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition so I can make fun of this girl and make myself feel better. But in my defense, Ty Pennington and the crew had renovated a house for a philanthropic deaf family and if you don’t feel a warmth behind your eyes during the “MOVE THAT BUS!” moment, then you should see a doctor, you’re probably dead.

But to sob tears of joy after seeing a fictional dinosaur movie is a little baffling. I haven’t seen it yet so technically I can’t positively call this girl a lunatic, but I’m confident in my educated guess. Like I can understand emotions being stirred if Robin Williams or Philip Seymour Hoffman made a cameo or if Ty Pennington built a whole new park for the disabled dinosaurs, but crying for 15 minutes in your car post-show while your husband films you after watching Chris Pratt run around a park in a tight shirt is a mystery to me. But then again, this is coming from the guy who bottles up all of his emotions behind alcohol and ill-timed humor.

[H/T Uproxx]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.