My Girlfriend Lost Her Virginity To A Hooker? My Girl Is A Squirter But I Don’t Last Long Enough In Bed, Help!

by 3 years ago
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Q: Alright. I’ve been with my girl for 2 years now, and she’s a squirter…yeah, sweet as fuck right? But it takes her some serious pounding to get off. And no matter how many times I jerk off, I still jizz in like 10 minutes. What things are available to help me last longer to get to her Ole Faithful?

A: You could always try just going slower during sex and working up to pounding her brains out rather than going from 0-800 in 2 seconds flat; that way you’ll last longer and hopefully she’ll get more out of it. There’s also the option of completely focusing the foreplay on her rather than yourself, which yes, means eating her out, fingering her, etc. etc. and not getting anything in return. Sure that sounds boring and fucking awful if you’re not into that sort of thing, but you’ll last longer during sex and she’ll definitely be closer to cumming at that point than she would’ve been if you’d just stuck it in her and humped around for 10 minutes.

And if all that fails…just search around on Amazon for creams that’ll de-sensitize your penis so that you last longer.

Q: My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago when things got complicated. We both really cared about each other but she told me she cheated while we were going through a rough patch (we were unofficially still going out). I told her how I thought our relationship was stressful and complicated and how it would be best if we just didn’t talk anymore. I was content at the time because I needed time to focus on myself and get my shit together.

I now have my shit together, but I miss having her as my best friend. There are times when I want to send her a text saying it’s stupid that we don’t talk anymore. There are also times where I think that I shouldn’t trust her. Should I send her a text? Should I confront her in person? Or should I just try to move on?

A: You know what this is? This is you looking for someone to validate you wanting to text your ex-girlfriend, and considering that I’m basically a stranger on the Internet that probably means that all of your friends told you not to talk to her. You’re basically asking me because you want me to say some bullshit like “Love lasts forever be free doves life love hearts hooray,” whereas in reality your friends were all like “Dude that chick sucks, don’t text her.”

Well you know what? Dude that chick sucks, don’t text her.

Your friends know you better than I do. Listen to them and don’t come crying to an Internet advice article when they won’t give you the answer you want.

Q: I recently went to the ER due to a swollen right nut. The docs diagnosed me as having an infected right nut due to either: a UTI or chlamydia. They treated me for both pending the outcome of lab tests, which just came back and confirmed it wasn’t a UTI. The docs said I could have had this for a while, as men often don’t show symptoms for very long periods of time.

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with a girl for about three months now and don’t think I got it from her as the one time we didn’t use a condom she said that was the first time she’d had sex without a condom. So how in the hell do I tell her that she needs to get tested/treated for chlamydia without her dumping/murdering me and/or thinking I’m a cheating prick?

A: You tell her exactly what the doctor said: that symptoms of chlamydia can possibly not show up in men for extended periods of time, and then bring up the fact that you’ve only been dating for 3 months. The fact that you told her straight-up should be enough of an indicator that you’re not lying and only looking out for her best interests, and if she flips out, tell her to go look it up on WebMD. There’s nothing you can really do here other than give her the facts and hope she comes to the right conclusion, because at the end of the day she needs to get tested.

Q: What would you think if your sex partner tells you that her lost his virginity with a hooker and that she constantly did that after such event happened? Would you lose respect for her?

A: Not really. I mean sure it’s gross to think about, but some people are late bloomers, you know? While you may have been getting laid at the ripe ol’ age of 16 and building your sexual confidence up she could’ve been a shy introvert who couldn’t even handle the idea of looking at a penis in a science textbook. Everyone’s different, and some people just need a little push off the diving board in order to learn how to swim.

If it’s something that bothers you, then that’s perfectly fine. While I wouldn’t necessarily care for more than 5 minutes I’m almost comically insensitive, but I realize that not everyone is as apathetic about most things in life as I am. For you I’d say to look at the person who’s in front of you now rather than whom she was however many years ago that she was banging prostitutes. What do you like about her? How does she make you feel? Now ask yourself “Has any of that changed now that I know she lost her v-card to a hooker?” The answer should be “No,” because she’s still the same person she was before you found out that fun little trivia fact about her.

Now if you can’t get past it and it’s still bothering you to no end…that’s on you, not her.

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