My Girlfriend Refuses To Stop Making Out With Women? How Do I Get A Girl To Agree To A Threesome With Me?

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Q: Where do you even meet women worth dating for longer than a couple weeks these days? I’m 25 years old, living in southern California, make my own money and I’m probably a solid 8. Every girl seems to have their arms around a dude with a flat billed hat everywhere I look. What gives??

A: Maybe it’s the flat billed hats. Throw one on your head and see if chicks start running to put their arms around you whenever you’re out in public. If that doesn’t happen, then you’re probably ugly. Sorry (but not really).

Q: I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about four years now but recently she has been making out with girls and it’s a little off-putting. I knew when we started dating that she was bi, but in 3.5 years had never made it with anyone else leading me to believe that we were in a true monogamous relationship.

Now she’s made girlfriends who are in open relationships and makes out with them. I don’t think I would have much of a problem with this if I weren’t completely disgusted by these girls and afraid of what they could spread to her and in turn to me (STD’s and such).

She says that she won’t stop and that is something that I just have to live with. I don’t want her to feel like I’m dictating who her friends can be but I also want no part of this and feel like it could lead to the end of the relationship; so do I cut my losses and let her live her life balls to the wall like she wants or do I keep pushing to get her to grow up and start acting like the adult she is (she’s 27 I’m 26)

A: Uh…you realize your girlfriend is cheating on you, right? Swap out the chicks she’s making out with and insert a bunch of dudes instead. Still nonchalant about the whole thing? No? Well then why are you seemingly chill with her making out with girls as opposed to guys? It’s the same thing minus a dick. And the fact that when she said “No I’m not going to stop making out with girls to make you happy” and YOU WERE OKAY WITH IT is insane. She literally told you “Nope, gonna keep cheating on you. Get over it” and you were like “Meep okay.” Dump her. Dump her NOW.

Jesus.

Q: I’ve been with my partner almost 3 years and lately things have been weird, she’s on a year abroad this summer and she’s constantly asking me if I’m cheating on her but when I ask her the same she dodges the question. It’s really starting to get on my nerves and I’ve become irritated with her! Is this something I should be worried about or is this just her being afraid I’m up to no good (I’m not by the way) because all of my friends are telling me to split up with her but I love her too much to leave her over something that’s just annoying me.

A: She’s projecting her guilt onto you. When she badgers you with questions about whether or not you’re cheating on her it’s because she actually feels guilty about the fact that she’s cheating on you, hence why she dodges the question when you fling it back at her. That, or she’s an insecure twat…but probably the first, honestly.

Q: My wife wants to try threesome and she has been asking me to find a girl for that. She went through my Facebook friends and saw few of my female friends and she asked me to try to speak to them about having threesome. The thing is, I really don’t know how do I start the conversation about threesome and where to start…any ideas please?

A: Ew, don’t bother random Facebook friends you don’t even know that well. That’s mad awkward. Hit up Craigslist. That place is FULL of people looking for threesomes and I’m sure if you put enough effort into your search you can even find one who isn’t a blubbery dungeon troll.

Besides, why are you the one who has to start the conversation? Your wife is the one who wants the threesome and who went nosing through your Facebook; have her start it up. It’s creepier coming from a guy anyway, she’ll probably have more luck than you will.

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