Girls Revealed All The Signs That A Guy Is Trying Too Hard And I Guess Bragging About Intramural Sports Is Frowned Upon?

By 12.08.16
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Girls are fickle creatures. First they tell you that they want you to keep surprising them and then they call the police when you dress in full camouflage and perch in a  tree outside their bedrooms. Can’t have it both ways, sweetheart. It’s going to be tough to bone when my penis doesn’t quite reach the 500 foot buffer this restraining order mandates. And I don’t do long dickstance. Nice knowing ya.

Contrary to Lena Dunham’s beliefs, us men have a lot of love to give, we often just love in ways that don’t resonate with the recipient. I thought watching football with my 7 goon friends farting and eating wings was a romantic date, but you always want to go to an orchard or some shit. Spoiler alert: the grocery store sells apples, babe. Anyway, the ladies of Reddit did their best to clarify the tell-tale signs that indicate men are trying too hard in an effort to bring us closer together.

Here are the top rated ones, with added commentary from an asshole.


“Liking” ALL of your pictures on social media. In one sitting.

But this baby photo of you from 56 weeks ago is just TOO CUTE. 


If a man openly brags about his penis size to another man. That is classic insecurity, or when he claims his “dates” always compliment his size.

My dick’s so big when  I get a boner, I get a headache. I thought honesty is attractive. Pick one.


When every conversation with them turns sexual. I have a friend who does that, ever since he learnt that I was okay with casual sex. Everything is an innuendo. It is super off-putting.

I’m sorry your grandma passed away, but I’m about to murder that…Ok, I swallowed a bug.


When he’s constantly inviting you to hang out. I don’t even see my best friend that often.

Me:

clarissa


When guys try to get you to pity them out of hopes that you’ll date them because you feel sorry for them. Ex. “I’m not that good looking.” “I’m forever alone.” It’s is an awkward thing to do, and makes you look less attractive.

I don’t believe in myself and care too much what other people think of me. *Unzips pants*


When everything is about me. I get that you’re supposed to be interested in each other, but too much gives off the vibes that they think I don’t care about them, or that they have something to prove. I want to know about him too.

Tell me more about how you have more guy friends than girl friends. I’m riveted.


When he talks about his accomplishments. For example, I went on a date with this guy once. He talked about how much $ he made and his sports accomplishments (10-15 years old…) You should be proud of your accomplishments, but even if you were “state champion” or whatever, be humble about it. Like I don’t want to hear about it on the first date.

How much you wanna bet I can throw this ball over them mountains??


Over-agreeableness. I think guys do this to seem more likable. It could work at first, but it definitely won’t last long. If someone agrees with everything I say and every opinion I have, there’s a 100% chance they’re trying too hard.

I’m not looking to date a parrot, I’m looking to date someone with a developed personality and point of view independent from my own.

I absolutely love the show Downton Abbey. Sushi is also my favorite meal. I’m always full after eating it. Please bang me.


Thinks the entire breast is an erogenous zone; massages my tits for five minutes and asks whether I’m about to come yet…

Oh, I was just playing with them for my pleasure. 


When he ignores your cues and just keeps pressing on—won’t take “no” for an answer.

“Let’s meet up tonight.”

“I actually have a shift tonight.”

“That’s cool, I can wait for you afterwards.”

“Actually, I prefer to head straight home after work.”

“Wonderful! I can walk you home.”

“I have a car, thanks.”

“… And I can drive for you, since you’ll be tired by then.”

‘Restraining order’ is such a vague term. 


Constant compliments. Telling me how good I look or how amazing I am every five seconds.

Then I’ll tell you what I really think about you. Be careful what you wish for.


If his collar is popped.

My Abercrombie Football Team has been undefeated since 1972. 


There you have it, bros. Just avoid doing those things and you’ll be mint. Actually, they’ll just find other shit to complain about so this post is as useful as a Sony Walkman. Sorry of wasting your time.

[h/t Reddit]


TAGSgirls of redditRelationshipstrying too hard

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