Watch Two Grown Ass Men Drop The Gloves In A Florida Publix Over A Goddamn Shopping Cart

by 3 years ago  •  2 Comments

WOOOO! Two men just getting medieval at the deli counter at a Florida Publix is completely unsurprising because a.) it’s Florida and b.) there is absolutely zero procedures when it comes to supermarket delis. It doesn’t mean shit that you grabbed one of those little paper numbers as long as you make eye contact with the butcher and rub your tits on the glass. That shit has always infuriated me. Oh, wait, it wasn’t about the deli process? Nevermind then. But that shit still makes my skin crawl.

According to Fox Orlando,

Orlando Police say this happened at the Baldwin Park Publix Monday at 5:45 p.m.  The man in gray, identified by police as Edwin Colon, told officers this all started outside when he asked a pregnant woman to move a shopping cart that she had just used over so he could pull his car into the parking spot.

According to the incident report, Colon told Orlando Police that the pregnant female responded by grabbing the cart, shaking it and asking, “What do you want me to do with it?”  Then, he claims she started cursing at him.

Colon told police he cursed back, got out of his car and went to Publix deli to get a sandwich.  A witness told police she saw the pregnant woman call her husband on her cell phone moments later.  Colon told police that, as he was placing his order, an unknown man who identified himself as the pregnant woman’s husband, “proceeded to push his face into Colon’s, poking him with his nose.”

Colon says he pushed the man to create distance, then he says the husband tried putting him in a headlock. Things got ugly fast.

The hottest places in Hell are reserved for people who roll their shopping carts into parking spaces. I don’t give a shit if you’re pregnant, you’re teaching your unborn baby to be a dickface before he even leaves the womb. Kid doesn’t stand a goddamn chance.

If we’re looking for a silver lining in this whole debacle, at least a hero was born. Give this man the promotion he deserves.

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shift manager


[h/t barstool]


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