If You’re Blackout Drunk, And Your Sandwich Tastes Like Styrofoam, You’re Probably Eating the Box
I’ve been drunk before, but I’m not sure that I’ve ever been Eat-The-Styrofoam-Box-Surrounding-My-Sandwich-Instead-Of-The-Sandwich-Itself drunk. The same cannot be said for this legend of a man.
I think it might be unfair to judge him and assume that this was a drunken mistake. Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing, but he was so hungry that he was just like, “whatever, this sandwich is getting scarfed down ASAP. Opening boxes is for pussies.” I weirdly respect that move. I feel like it takes a real man to chow down on a styrofoam box without regard for what having styrofoam chemicals in your system does to your health.
This dude definitely saw Covucci’s story on the drunk broad eating train floor potato chips from this morning and said, “ha! What an amateur.”