We had the guy who spent $100,000 to look like Justin Bieber, then 30-year-old glamour “model” who blew $50,000 to look like Katie Price, and now we have Jordan Parke, a 23-year-old man who spent four years and over $150,000 on plastic surgery to look like Kim Kardashian. Defeinitely money well spent dude, how could doing that ever go wrong?
Answer: oh so very easily.
In case you couldn’t tell, that’s Kim on the left and Jordan on the right. I know right, they’re totally interchangeable! The vacant look in their eyes that tells you no one is home paired with a trout pout that only a fisherman could admire really make the two look like twins separated at birth.
Oh, and because comparisons are always a fun time:
Eh…not that different.
But why would someone (read: literally anyone) want to look like Kim Kardashian? She’s a blimp. If you were to puncture her ass with a fork she’d be propelled around the room by the force of all the hot air escaping her body and it’d be history repeating the Hindenburg disaster, albeit with a reality television star.
Jordan doesn’t care though.
“I love everything about Kim,” the makeup artist lookalike tells British newspaper ‘The Sun.’ “She’s the most gorgeous woman ever. Her skin is perfect, her hair, everything about her…”
“I laugh when people try to insult me by telling me I look plastic or fake,” he jokes. “Do they think I’m going for the natural look? If I was, I’d ask for my money back.”
In case you’re curious (which I know you are), here’s a list of just SOME of the procedures Jordan’s had in order to look like Kim Kardashian:
-Lip fillers
-Cheek fillers
-Laser hair removal
-Botox
-Eyebrow tattoos
-Vampire facial
-Lobotomy
In his free time Jordan also enjoys wasting his money on buying designer bullshit so that he can amass a collection of material crap no one actually needs comparable to Kim Kardashian’s.
In other words, Jordan has too much free time and too much money. You know what I’d do with $150,000? Put it in a savings account and do my best not to be a fucking moron and blow it all on something dumb like kitten mittens (just kidding those are genius).
But then again that’s just me and I’m boring. Maybe I should aspire to be more like Jordan…
…but not really.
[H/T In Touch Weekly, images via Instagram]