Pop quiz hot shot, what’s the greatest innovation created by mankind?
Driverless cars? HA!
Smartphones? NOPE!
Space travel? Not even close.
Introducing the dick bidet!
Make no mistake, the Dick Bidet is not a French male porn star. The dick bidet AKA Urinary 2.0 is a urinal for the modern age and the modern man. This contemporary piss pot has sensors that monitor your yellow stream and when you stop making wee-wee the unit will clean your unit. The urinal sprays soapy water on your dong.
Yea great, but can I fuck it?
Then a hand dryer-esque blower dries your trouser snake.
Yea great, but can I fuck it?
Don’t get too excited to have your tallywhacker washed by a robot just yet because this is just a prototype at the moment. Biochemist Eduard Gevorkyan, economist Ivan Giner and business coach Miguel Angel Levanteri are currently in talks to sell their patent for approximately $765,300. Add the dick bidet to the list of things I should have invented. The team from Spain is also working on a version for the ladies. Clit Bidet? Slit Bidet? Twat Washer? I’m just spitballing here.
I don’t like that it kind of looks like a person, but then at the same doesn’t. If you’re making it like a person go all in, add a blonde wig and throw on some lipstick. Seduce me.
So you’re saying I can’t fuck it?
FINALLY! No more washing my dick in the sink with children around and getting arrested for indecent exposure and having to register as a sex offender.
I’m kidding!
I don’t wash my dick in the sink. I don’t even wash my hands after I piss because my cock id immaculate.
But what about us small-dicked dudes? I imagine that if you have a baby dick all that soapy water is going to be sprayed into your crotch and drip onto your pantaloons. Life sucks for me, err I mean, life probably sucks for dudes who have small weiners.
P.S. “Dick Bidet” is my new pseudonym and the name I will use whenever I check into a hotel from now on.