Donald Trump’s Release Announcing He Won’t Debate Tomorrow Takes A Lovely Dump On Pretty Much Everyone

By 01.27.16
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Donald Trump, Mr. Tough On China and Mr. Tough On Immigrants and Mr. Tough On, Oh Who The Hell Knows Anymore (Kazakh Textile Manufacturers, Probably), is refusing to participate in tomorrow’s 234th Republican 2016 Presidential Primary debate essentially because the scheduled moderator, Megyn Kelly of Fox News, once asked Trump why he called Rosie O’Donnell a ‘fat pig.’

It’s petulant whining from a person who, because he relishes in an anti-establishment front, can get away with it, even though it’s a childish antic no different than licking all your cookies when you first get them so no one else will touch them.

Anyway, skipping this won’t affect him one bit, because the people who support him operate on a closed feedback loop wherein anything he does is automatically awesome, especially when it’s bucking respected political norms.

That said, I could care less. He should skip the debates because by now they are pointless, but he shouldn’t throw a tantrum because a woman likes to ask him why he said things.

Regardless, his statement he released announcing his debate is delightful. I don’t support Trump, but I do support his right to make poop poop on the 2016 campaign.

It reads:

As someone who wrote one of the best-selling business books of all time, The Art of the Deal, who has built an incredible company, including some of the most valuable and iconic assets in the world, and as someone who has a personal net worth of many billions of dollars, Mr. Trump knows a bad deal when he sees one. Fox News is making tens of millions of dollars on debates, and setting ratings records (the highest in history), whereas in previous years they were low-rated afterthoughts.

Unlike the very stupid, highly incompetent people running our country into the ground, Mr. Trump knows when to walk away. Roger Ailes and Fox News think they can toy with him, but Mr. Trump doesn’t play games. There have already been six debates, and according to all online debate polls including Drudge, Slate, TimeMagazine, and many others, Mr. Trump has won all of them, in particular the last one. Whereas he has always been a job creator and not a debater, he nevertheless truly enjoys the debating process – and it has been very good for him, both in polls and popularity.

He will not be participating in the Fox News debate and will instead host an event in Iowa to raise money for the Veterans and Wounded Warriors, who have been treated so horribly by our all talk, no action politicians. Like running for office as an extremely successful person, this takes guts and it is the kind mentality our country needs in order to Make America Great Again.

Yea sure, whatever dude. Thankfully, Fox nailed him right back. From The Washington Post:

“Megyn Kelly is an excellent journalist, and the entire network stands behind her,” [Fox News Chairman Roger] Ailes said. “She will absolutely be on the debate stage on Thursday night.”

Fox News issued a statement late Tuesday night alleging that [Trump campaign manager Corey] Lewandowski threatened in a Saturday phone call a repeat of the “rough” treatment Kelly received following her August clash with Trump.

“Capitulating to politicians’ ultimatums about a debate moderator violates all journalistic standards, as do threats,” the statement read. The network added: “We can’t give in to terrorizations toward any of our employees. Trump is still welcome at Thursday night’s debate and will be treated fairly.”

If you recall, after the first debate moderated by Kelly, Trump went on a news show blitz accusing her of menstruating while on the air.

You know, presidential shit.

This is, probably, the first time a major presidential candidate has skipped a debate on the eve of the nation’s first caucus, but hell, there’s been a lot of firsts this year.


TAGSbrolection 2016Donald TrumpFox News

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