If you like boobies, YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
If you have boobies but you’d like them bigger, perkier, and closer together, DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING CLICK OFF THIS POST.
It looks like humanity is on the brink of something ground-breaking, thanks to a Serbian security guard who was too cheap to pay for his girlfriend’s boob job.
Milan Milić, 30, a former engineering student in Serbia, invented a ‘miracle vibrating bra’ that can permanently increase the size of a woman’s breasts by one cup size without surgery. The bra is under clinical trial in America after preliminary trials in Serbia were hugely successful, no pun intended.
The patented bra has already been tested by two American women, under the supervision of two specialist doctors, and the results have been extremely promising.
Please hold for a quick boobie break.
K. Let’s move on.
Sabrina Molinar, a 49-year-old Miami native, saw her breasts increase from a B to a C cup after she wore the bra for just 15 minutes a day over seven days.
Plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Salzheaur, who independently trialed the bra, confirmed the size increase after taking daily photographs of Sabina’s breasts.
According to the Daily Mail, an ecstatic Sabrina reported:
‘I was a 36B before but now I think I’d be a lot more comfortable in a C cup although I haven’t been out to buy any new bras yet.
I definitely feel like I fill clothes a little better and it feels good. If I give somebody a hug I have to accommodate for them – it feels different and I’m just not used to them yet. There was a definite change for me.’
One sec, I think I hear titties knocking at the door.
Boobies be knockin’.
Miami pre-med student Andrena, also tested the bra back in May and saw her breasts grow from 32B to 34C.
‘Obviously I was skeptical at first because it seemed too good to be true but after I used the bra it was just amazing – I’ve had to purchase new bigger bras and everything.’
Now, I’m usually the most skeptical with these body enhancement gimmicks because the penis enhancement supplements do not work. Says a friend of mine. Not me. My dick is huge…ly underwhelming. But, my boy Milan has got doctors and specialists on his side.
He does, however, want to keep the technology behind the new bra close to the chest (nice, Matt) before it hits shelves. The basic premise is the vibration in the bra increases blood flow to the breasts and improves circulation.
Says my boy Milan to the Daily Mail,
‘It is a natural process that increases the blood circulation that is feeding the breast. When we researched the human body, we had a theory about how we could manipulate the human body to manipulate the tissue and muscles.
But it is not painful, there’s no harmful radiation, it’s fully healthy for the human body and safe for the environment and everything.’
Dr. Salzhauer admitted that he doesn’t quite understand the scientific merit of the bra but is willing to keep an open mind.
‘I spoke with the inventor and he didn’t have any great scientific reason why vibrating the breasts for five minutes every day would make them grow. I think he must have stumbled across some kind of a hack – you know like in a video game if you press certain buttons you get a secret power.
‘Maybe this is some kind of hack that makes them grow. You know anything is possible. I’m open minded – all good scientists should be open minded when they look at something like this.
Sorry, doctor. I missed all of what you just said.
[h/t Daily Mail]