This ‘Hipster Coloring Book’ From 1962 Sheds Light On The Douchey Roots Of Hipster Culture

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If you were to draw your view of a hipster, what would you sketch up? You’d probably imagine the hipster in a coffee shop, wearing a winter hat on the back of his head in the August heat, generally thinking he’s more refined that you culturally, musically, and spiritually. The hipster means well, his values and intents aren’t malicious, but the hipster’s unearned condescension is where he’s gained a bad rap. No one who hasn’t showered in a week should be that comfortable talking down to someone.

But the hipster isn’t a new-age term. The genesis of the hipster spans back decades, shifting its ideology to match the times. And this is evident in this Hipster Coloring Book from the 1962 issue of Cavalier Magazine.

Now prepare for a wild ride down Hipster Hill, a cornucopia of douchebaggery sprinkled with a bit of sexual harassment.

Don’t forget to color in the graphic Tame Impala t-shirt and a puffy man bun. Add a long board under his feet. Also, erase the smoke that’s being e-mitted from the cigarette. We all know it’s an e-cig. He has a fun time, but everyone around him is miserable.

 

The hipsters “pad” smells of dusty vinyl records that have no use considering his barista job doesn’t afford him enough money to buy a record player. He picked up the furniture on the side of the road. The company he holds at his pad are typically struggling musicians who refuse to let the dream die and get a real fucking job.

The hipster chick’s head is positioned away because she is looking for a door out of that fucking shithole.

Ok, this is getting a little rapey.

*Super rapey.

Wait, is Trump narrating this coloring book. The hipster obviously doesn’t have a car. He rides his longboard around and screams at pedestrians in the crosswalk. FAKE NEWS!

The hipster’s stereo set consists solely of songs you’ve never heard. You’re better off for it.

But you can judge a douchebag by the size of his man bun.

*A fun place for sex offenders.

THAT’S ASSAULT BROTHA!

If you read this in Bill Cosby’s voice, it makes a lot more sense.

Woman gives man sex, then cooks him breakfast. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW THIS COLORING BOOK WOULD GO OVER TODAY HOLY SHIT! After Carrie Fisher died, Steve Martin paid tribute to her by calling her ‘beautiful’ and the feminists nailed him to a cross, forcing him to apologize for his insensitivity. This coloring book is a How-To tutorial on how to be a creepy sex-fueled asshole. The illustrator would be publicly executed for this today.

[h/t RSVLTS]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.