When you think of people being assholes, you inherently think of guys because guys are inherently assholes. However this is a time of equality, and women have proved that they can be just as big of assholes as men.
And as it turns out, women really act like assholes at McDonald’s, especially at the drive-thru. I have delved deep into the violent phenomenon and formulated this equation that may explain most of these bizarre situations:
HUNGER + WAITING TOO LONG IN THE DRIVE-THRU LINE = HANGRY VIOLENT WOMEN
It’s just a theory, but I’ve been around enough hungry women to understand that you do not want to anger them when they are craving food. So let’s take an in-depth investigation into the history of women being complete assholes at the McDonald’s drive-thru.
SEPTEMBER 2015
The above video is the newest to the collection and was posted to YouTube on September 8, 2015. A donnybrook breaks out at a McDonald’s drive-thru between three women. Oddly enough, one of the women seems to be dressed as the McBurglar.
AUGUST 2015
Only a week ago, four women attacked a 16-year-old McDonald’s employee. The ladies mercilessly dragged the worker out of the LaPlace, Louisiana fast food restaurant through the drive-thru window. Then the women promptly beat the shit out of the employee.
Police would later arrest Kailin Holland, 17, for felony battery. Authorities also issued misdemeanor summonses for simple battery to Sierra Gregoire, 18, and a 16-year-old girl. Bradnika Gregoire, 20, was issued a misdemeanor summons for disturbing the peace by fighting.
APRIL 2014
Tammy Dawn Clement subscribes to the belief of “When you gotta go, you gotta go.” The 30-year-old woman first walked up to the drive-thru window of the Mikey D’s in Dover, New York. Apparently she does not understand the complex concept of the “drive-thru.” She attempted to crawl into the eatery’s window.
After she was unsuccessful in breaking into the restaurant, she then pulled down her pants and took a whiz in the parking lot. When cops arrived, she stopped urinating and fled to a convenience store that was across the street.
Police found her in the women’s restroom of the store. Clement was not keen on being arrested, put up a struggle and even spit in the face of one of the officers. She was charged with resisting arrest, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. Which begs the question, “Why didn’t Tammy go take a pee-pee in the convenience store’s bathroom in the first place?”
FEBRUARY 2014
A Michigan woman shot up a McDonald’s after her fast food order was incorrect. Shaneka Torres was angry that her bacon cheeseburger was missing sweet, fatty, delectable bacon (I’m already on Team Shaneka, and completely understand). Employees offered a free meal, but the second burger was also baconless.
Torres kept it real by screaming, “Bitch, you don’t know who you’re talking to,” before she sprayed bullets into the drive-thru window of a McDonald’s in Grand Rapids. Thankfully the shots barely missed the employees and no one was hurt. However that’s when keeping it real goes wrong because Shaneka Torres was sentenced to three to seven years in prison.
JULY 2013
Kimberly Womack, 34, blocked the drive-thru of a McDonald’s in New Port Richey, Florida and demanded “two free Big Macs because she wasn’t impressed with the ones she had eaten previously.” In July of 2013, the intoxicated woman refused to move her car until she got free Big Macs, unfortunately for her they were only serving breakfast. She then demanded two free Egg McMuffins. At least she’s reasonable and willing to make compromises about McDonald’s breakfast menu.
Police arrived and could smell alcohol on Womack, and she explained that her rights were being violated. A subsequent test showed her blood alcohol content to be .108. Womack also told authorities that she was on the anti-anxiety drug Klonopin. She was charged with DUI.