The Rules of Hooking Up With Family Friends, Plus Is It a Scumbag Move to Have 5 Girls on Rotation?

By 09.12.12

Q: What is the rule on dating/hooking up with a family friend? The girl's dad is my godfather, but not blood related in anyway.

A: As long as we're differentiating between family friend and family member, you're in the clear. if your parents used to hook up in the 80's, it could be a lite awkward for them…but that's their problem. Just try not to get a boner at the dinner table.
Review: God Cousin: okay. Actual Cousin: not.

Q: If you were married, how would you feel about your husband going to a strip club? Obviously every chick has reasons to be against her guy going often, say, more than 5 times a year, but if it's a more rare thing, would you care?

What if he went alone when you were out of town?

A: I'm probably the worst source for an overarching female answer on this question, because when it comes to strip clubs, I'm game Tuesday-Saturday. And sometimes even Sunday, if there's a worthwhile drink special. Seriously; I f*cking love that sh*t.

Sure, I've burned my fair share of bras and rarely hesitate to curse out a construction worker, but how can you deny the appeal of lap dances, cheap booze and babes?

So no, I don't care if my significant other indulges in the same.

HOWever, if he's going alone and/or lying about going in the first place, we've got a problem. These are true signs of an unhealthy sexual complex, and I'd revoke strip club rights altogether.

Q: How would you feel if someone you were dating told you they had an STD? If it was mentioned prior to any action. On the other side of the coin, what would you think of someone NOT telling you, then shagged your brains out?

A: In our modern day society of youthful condomless whoreishness, there's all sorts of sh*t floating around. If someone has the potential to pass a disease on to you that could harm you, then yes, you should always be informed of it– and not after the fact. That said, weird circumstances can arise, like if someone doesn't find out until after you've hooked up– in which case there's not much you can do or blame. Not to sound like your high school sex ed teacher, but if you're doing it, you should be getting tested.

Q: I don’t have a girlfriend but I've wheeled a few girls at the same time, even though it's not technically cheating, is this still looked down upon by other girls? And would it therefore hinder me in trying to A) date one of these girls or B) hook up with other girls who know that I do this?

A: Look, Breau, you're contradicting yourself a whole lot in this question. Do you want a girlfriend, or do you want to keep “wheeling” girls around? I highly doubt that the multiple girls you claim to be juggling know of your ways, and they definitely WOULD care if they did.

So yes, lying to one girl or five girls is going to get you into trouble and out of their beds. Of course your behavior is looked down on by them. You're no fool. If you're really trying to date one, then stop hooking up with the others. Because as much as you think you might like a cat fight, when you're getting clawed alive by five of them…you won't like it so much.

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