This Fail Compilation Of People Eating Shit On Those Insufferable Hoverboards Is Wildly Satisfying

These things piss me off. Partly because they serve very little practical purpose but mostly because I can’t afford one and I’ve seen about 600 spoiled 15-year-olds scooting around on them because mommy and daddy just can’t say no. My parents don’t buy me shit anymore. And I’m pissed about it. My big Christmas gift last year was a pair of work pants. And a matching belt. THANKS, SANTA. This is cool and all but where’s the fucking Power Wheels, bro?

So how do I feel better about little shit entitled kids getting spoiled while I get an “Insufficient Funds” notice when I go to take out $20 for a six pack of dog shit beer? I watch them crash and burn on their toys. I didn’t see any blood spill, but that would be asking too much. You kids know a little something about asking too much, right? Dicks.

P.S. Dad–quit ignoring my voicemails. I’m seriously low on cash and could use a small infusion. It’s for an investment. Or something.

[h/t Uproxx]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.