How a Girl Earned the Nickname ‘Super Soaker,’ Plus Other Tales Of Loveless Sex

by 5 years ago

Sophomore year welcome week was by far the most outlandish 10 days of my existence thus far. After donating my mind body and soul to pledging the previous semester, similar dedication to a summer internship, forfeiting 99.9% of my social life in the process, I had a bit of pent up partying in me. Roughly 8 months worth to be exact.

Welcome week started as most do, arriving, exchanging summer tales and crushing brews left, right, and center. As the campus started to fill out, me and my boys make our way over to the frat house that we were now welcome at. The beats start bumping, booze starts flowing and the natural progression of clothes falling off starts to occur. Being at our own frat house we had the pick of the litter, so like a pack of extremely intoxicated wolves me and my buddies seek out a group of bitties that we deem likely to allow us to slip it in.

After hitting it off with one group, we escort them to the dance floor, and through the WHOMP WHOMP's I gather that the girl I'm talking to is named “Kristina.” After some heavy grinding and a few more shots, I manage to put a sentence together insinuating that we should go back to my dorm. Being a cute freshman looking to fit in, she agreed and back to my room we go. As a side note, my roommate got kicked out the previous semester, so I was stuck in a dorm room with this nerdy kid for half the year. Me and Kristina stumble into the room, and this kid is in his boxers at his desk playing a computer game. I couldn't care less.

We hop into my bed and start a sloppy make out session that quickly turns into us dry humping each other like you read about. It was at this point my roommate decided it was time to throw on some shorts and take a lap, so out the door he goes. BINGO, off come the clothes and Kristina says those 3 little words every drunk guy wants to hear, “Put it in”.

Not one to go against the grain, I agree. This girl was a freak, pop lock and dropping it like no girl at a predominately white catholic university should. After a few position changes, she ends up on top, and tells me she’s going to cum. Having heard that song and dance before I didn't think much of it. All of a sudden, it was like someone dropped a bucket of warm water on my bed. This chick is tearing my hair out, and squirting EVERYWHERE! I had never experienced a squirter, but had heard of the legend many times before. It was literally like this girl’s water broke on top of me, and my entire bed was covered in lukewarm juice. I couldn't help but start hysterically laughing. It was the most awesome thing to happen to me thus far in my college sex career.

She was so embarrassed that she rolled off and proceeded to tell me how “wet I got her” and she “didn’t know what happen. Rather than discuss the obvious difference between normal wetness and the Atom Bomb that just went off in my bed, I throw a towel down, told her that it was awesome, and passed out. I woke up in the morning to no sign of Kristina. The only trace of the night before were my bed sheets, washed and folded on the futon, with a note that said “I'm sorry.” It’s safe to say she earned her nickname for the next 3 years, the Super Soaker.

Great story, although I'd argue there are other sets of three words I'd like to hear a chick say almost as much as “put it in.” “I'm not pregnant,” “here's your beer,” and “dinner is ready” are just a few that come to mind.

I went to high school in Denver, and once that was over I went to a smaller school in the Midwest to play lacrosse and get a top-notch business degree. While I did this, most of the guys I went to high school with all stayed in state and went to one of the two big state schools, CU and CSU. My closest buddies all lived in Fort Collins and went to CSU and had a house on campus together, most of them being former teammates.

One summer weekend before I left to go back for my sophomore year, they decided to throw me a little going away party up in FoCo. I suspected it was just going to be some people from high school and that sort of crowd, but it was actually a bunch of the people they had met in the dorms the year prior.

Flash-forward to midnight, after many hours of drinking games, girls dancing under black lights, and one guy already passed out on the couch with people sitting on him. The party is raging, and so am I after I see the brunette that walks through the door — let’s call her Peppermint. I keep my eye on Peppermint as the night goes on, and as the beer pong games start to lose interest, I decide to teach everyone a new game, quarters baseball, taught to me by my teammates back in the Midwest.

As I am spelling out the rules, Peppermint comes over and does the typical drunk girl hat steal. Bingo. I snag her has my teammate. One and a half games later she is attached to my mouth. As I'm going to find my buddy, my other friend who lives there intercepts me, grabs me by the shoulders and says as best he can, use my room, there's a bag on the floor next to the bed with all you will need, just don't mess it up too bad.

So we enter the room, and let me tell you, I recall very quickly that she had mentioned she was a dancer earlier. She was almost doing yoga poses. The downside, there was no lock on the door. Two times I had to jump up to slam the door back shut, but well worth it. After a while we return back to the party, a bit disheveled, and pass out on the couch later. I drive her home the next morning and that was that, so I thought.

About a two years later I get a call from the same buddy who's room I used and told me to go look at Peppermint's Facebook status. As I pull it up, a huge grin spreads across my face, my new claim to fame from that night was not just that I had scored, but I had shared it with a now pro football cheerleader, for my favorite team no less.


So I was at this girl's house for a party where a bunch of people were staying over for the night. We were all pretty trashed the whole night, I was slamming beer after beer. There were a bunch of other really pretty girls there that I was good friends with so besides talking to my girlfriend a
lot, I was making the rounds talking to some other girls.

Once the “party” started breaking up and we were all starting to pass out, my girlfriend invited me into a room where her and one of her really hot friends were sleeping. At this point I was so drunk I didn't know what was going on. They proceed to get me on the bed and me and my girlfriend start making out, while the other ones taking my pants off. She starts blowing me while my girlfriend gets undressed. They switch and start undressing me. I proceed to eat her out while my girlfriends blowing me. While this is going on, my girlfriend (No glove no love) puts a condom on me and just starts going at it. We're all loving this sh*t, and it goes on for quite a long time. After I pull out and finish on both of their chests, we clean up a little, and I sleep in between the two of them, arms around both.

That was a real no frills story about a three-way, huh? Without even having to ask, his girlfriend made his every dream a reality and he didn't even have the decency to embellish or go into graphic detail. That could have been written in well under 50 words. “I got drunk at a party. When I tried to go to bed, my girlfriend and her best friend f*cked me. I blew my load on their tits, and then we all took a snooze. It was a nice experience.”

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